Stuff and Nonsense

Hummingbird Wars!

2008-07-27T03:08:00.005-04:00

I've started a hummingbird war in my backyard with a single feeder.

A month or so ago, I noticed there were two ruby throated hummingbirds that liked to hang around my althea and some of the other fragrant flowers in my yard, and they liked to camp out in a couple of my trees.

So we bought a hummingbird feeder. At first I think it was too close to the other bird feeder in the yard, so I moved it further back, under a trellis.

Now there are those two that love the feeder, but I think a third (or more, I can't tell -- they don't wear name tags) has been trying to use the feeder and it gets chased off by the first two. One of the residents is a female or a juvenile -- they look the same this time of year, and I won't be able to tell for another couple of months. But there has been an ensuing war any time one of them approaches.

They are all now so fond of the feeder, any time of day I look out there I don't have to wait more than a few minutes before I see one of them using it. They are not very timid *at all* and they let me get quite close. (I guess they figure, correctly, that they are faster than I am.) Today I camped out in a lawn chair near the feeder and took some pictures. While I was taking pictures, they got into a fight around my head. It is the *weirdest* humming sound to have flying around your ears!

(After I took these pics I realized there is a "sports" setting on our digital camera, and I may be able to get a couple of better images using it. But then it started to rain so I will have to try tomorrow.)

(Also, I will get a second feeder so they stop fighting!)

Holy crap, we bought a house!

2007-08-28T23:36:00.000-04:00

They accepted our first offer!

There was a big article on the front of Charlotte.com today (which means it was big in the Charlotte Observer) about how houses aren't selling, and are staying on the market longer and going for a lot less than the owners had hoped for. Maybe they got scared?

I'm exhausted, so I'm going to bed. But here's some details for you detail oriented folks...

Single Family Area: 5/7 Charlotte, NC 28277 County: Mecklenburg
Total Fin HLA: 2738 Unheated SqFt: 463
Beds: 4 Baths: 3/1
New Construction: No Year Built: 2003 Completed: Builder: Ryan

ROOMS
Main: Breakfast, Dining Rm, Entry Hall, Great Rm, Kitchen, Laundry, Living Rm
Upper: Bedroom 2, Bedroom 3, Bedroom 4/Bonus, Master BR
Lower: None
Basement: None

PROPERTY
Approx Lot Dimension: .155 Approx. Acres: 0.155

DESCRIPTION
Type: 2 Story Style: Transitional Exterior Const: Vinyl
Parking: 2 Car Garage, Back Load Driveway: Concrete Foundation: Slab
Fireplace: Yes Fireplace Location: Gas Logs, Great Room Laundry: 1st Floor, Utility Room
Floor: Ceramic Tile, Laminate, Wall-to wall Carpet Doors/Windows:
Equipment: Cable Prewire, Ceiling Fan(s), CO Detector, Cooktop Electric, Dishwasher, Disposal, Electric Dryer Hookup, Ice Maker Connection, Refrigerator, Security System, Self Cleaning Oven, Smoke Detector
Interior Features: Attic Stairs Pulldown, GardenTub
Exterior Features: Fenced Yard, In-Ground Irrigation, Patio, Porch
Community Features: Playground, Pool

UTILITIES
Water/Sewer: City Sewer, City Water HVAC: Central Air, Gas Hot Air, Multizone A/C, MultiZone Heat Water Heater: Gas

REMARKS
Picture perfect! Absolutely beautiful home in immaculate condition! Wonderful rocking chair front porch. Gourmet kitchen w/cherry cabinets & island opens to spacious great room w/gas log fireplace. Extensive pergo flooring & upgraded lighting throughout. Huge bonus room with private bath. Incredible fenced yard. Extended patio overlooks rose garden & pond. Irrigation. A MUST SEE!!

Exciting weekend!

2007-08-27T23:27:00.000-04:00

We've found the house we want to make an offer on!

Here are pictures:

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v386/ultravioletu/house/

The few things you can't see from the photos are the upstairs level (2 br + master, bathrooms need a little cosmetic work, but they're good), the super-secret extra hideaway (it seriously needs a bookcase to make it a secret passage) bonus room which has wood floors, a full bath, extra storage and is big enough to comfortably hold a pool table, and the finished garage complete with nice oil resistant flooring.

Our buyer's agent thinks the listed price is high, but we're probably still going to end up paying more than we wanted to pay for a house. Isn't that always the way, though?

Keep wishing us luck!!

House Hunting, take one!

2007-08-24T16:30:00.000-04:00

For those of you who haven't heard, Craig and I are for real moving back to Charlotte! We hope to be moved in by the end of October.

Tonight we hit the road after work for the (ugh, 7 hour) drive down, and begin our search with our fabulous exclusive buyer's agent, bright and early tomorrow morning!

We have a big list picked out to look at already. If you're interested seeing some of them for yourself, you can look them up on the MLS. I'd send you to the Charlotte default MLS, but I don't like their photo/info tools as much as I like Allen Tate's (realty office in Charlotte) so I will send you thither instead!

http://www.allentate.com

MLS	Comments
700599	The bungalow house
673437	Coffered ceiling
676122	Coffered ceiling, but empty
696531	The paint house (you'll see what I mean)
689743	almost identical to 696531 but nicer floors, and neutral
674658	great master bath
686806	lots of hardwood, nice kitchen, sunroom!
699796	pond and rose garden
693876	lake view from 2nd floor
679730	Charleston style, lake view from 2nd floor
701763	Lots of light, space, open fp, wood, lot
682794	Pool! But no photos. Backs to greenway
665269	beautiful kitchen, wood, yard

Unfortunately, you can't put in more than one MLS number at a time, but don't let that stop you. The first handful are probably our favorites, with the exception of the ones towards the bottom with the view of Lake Norman.

I'm so anxious and excited all at once that I've made myself sick. I've had deadly deadly heartburn for the last 3 days, and even though I know I'm hungry, I'm slightly more nauseous than hungry, so it's a problem. I need to calm the fuck down.

We're staying at the Westin in uptown Charlotte for three days. First, I love the beds in Starwood properties. They live up to their "heavenly" title. Second, I watched them build that hotel when I lived uptown, and I vowed that one day I would stay there because it's gor-ge-ous. Today's the day! Plus, I got the room for $109 a night!!!! We may have to pay for parking on top of that but at that price, so what.

It's going to be an exciting weekend... Stay tuned and wish us luck!!!!!

Tech Support Jackpot!

2007-08-20T01:20:00.000-04:00

As I've told you all already, Sunday nights hold one of my small weekly pleasures. On this night every week, I grab a little snack, (this week, some lovely watermelon imported from NJ) and settle in for two hours of blissful 80's alt rock on VH1 Classic's "120 Minutes." It's not quite the same as the original "120 Minutes", but it's the one bit of pleasantly guilty nostalgia I regularly allow myself.

So tonight being Sunday, I park myself on the couch, and flip to the usual channel. But what greets me tonight? A big black screen that reads "Subscription channel." VH1 Classic has disappeared from my lineup!

So I flipped through my other channels. AMC? Gone. TCM? Gone. G4? Gone.

Now, I know Comcast has been working hard to fuck up my service for the last few months ever since the buyout of Adelphia at the beginning of the year. I've had to call a few times about the internet service, and strange things have been happening with the channel menus. Yesterday, all the channels shifted to new locations, and we lost all our "favorites" programming. So the new development tonight was only a little surprise...

At first I went all Morrisey and moped around, accepting that I'd be without until we moved to Charlotte. Then I decided, you know what, they have support people 24 hours! I'm calling their asses up!

I got a very nice support person named Larry. I told him that I knew they were changing around the lineup, but now half my channels were flat out missing. He said, hold on and let me see what's going on. He said it looked like the packages had changed with everything else, and I could switch to the digital blah-blah package, and it would work again. So I said, okay, well, what will that cost me? And he said hold on...

I told him that I tried listening to the FAQ on the phone before asking to talk to him, and it said that they tried about 20 different ways of notifying everyone of all these changes, but damned if I hadn't seen ANY of them! And he started laughing. So I said, "I bet you get a lot of people who tell you that." And he said, "whew, you wouldn't believe it!" And I said, "Well, at least you're not too busy at night," and he told me I'd be surprised at just how many people call at this hour. Mostly drunks. And I said tweekers, and they all probably want to yell at you. And we had a good laugh. And thus began a very nice conversation with a support person who said, "Hang on a second, maybe I can save you some money..."

Sure enough, some options here, and a "you shouldn't be paying for that" there, and he restored all my channels. He upgraded me to the new service. We now have ALL the movie channels.

AND he saved me $33 a month!

After all that, we still couldn't get AMC to work, and he tried a bunch of stuff but it still wasn't happening. So he said, "I know you don't want to hear this, but it means I'll have to send a tech out to your house..." And I said, "You know, it's not really that important..." And he's like, "Are you sure? Because you should be getting all the channels you're paying for..." And I said,

"You know? It's just AMC. It's not that great a channel. I now have all the OTHER movie channels. And what are they showing right now... 'Raising Helen'?? I didn't want to watch that anyway. Don't even worry about it!"

He said all right and asked if I need anything else, but I told him no thanks, and that he was great, and thank you so much!

So say what you'd like about Comcast's customer service, but all the times I've called I've spoken to really nice people who actually act like they want to help. And tonight's experience was no different, AND it came with bonuses!

So then I spent the rest of my "90 Minutes" with a pleased little grin...

Bring on the Dancing Horses

2007-06-25T01:30:00.000-04:00

It's been 4 weeks since my constant companion left my side, and I still miss her like you wouldn't believe. So many times I'll be going through my day and just expect to see Autumn come around the corner, and I almost want to hold my breath and wait, like maybe it was all just a bad dream.

I'm still gathering the strength to post part 2 of my farewell, but I'm starting to repress the feelings and the memories of that particular bad day and the ones that followed. I'm stuffing them into a tiny box, and putting them in a dark corner in the back, right next to the box labeled "September 11." They're like painful little spring-trap, needle-filled time capsules that maybe one day I'll be able to disarm, but not until I have the time and the distance and emotional maturity to handle them.

They're also taking their damn sweet time getting her ashes back to me at the vet. They told me two or three weeks. It's been four. Craig called and they stalled him and put him off, until he got hold of the "manager" who told him, oh yeah it can take as long as TWO MONTHS. Meanwhile, I want to cry from that disappointment, and my gut aches with the fear that there's been some kind of mixup, and I'll never get her back. Craig says he's tired of calling them. I'll have to sack up and do it myself. The challenge will be not crying in anger and frustration while I'm on the phone.

IN HAPPIER NEWS, I love watching the triumphant return of 120 Minutes on VH1 Classic. Some of the best days of my life were to the tune of Alt 80's music! It gives me a happy little butterfly or two to remember the times and the places I recall with The Church and Jesus and Mary Chain and Echo and Souxsie. Those are the 80s that I remember, not all the day-glo and Madonna puffy sleeves and legwarmers. I think of the summers driving to skate shows in my friends' beat up cars. The nights roaming the boardwalks and beaches of the shore in our little punk rock gangs. The laughs and the camaraderie and the heartache and the purple hair and the spikes and the combat boots and the trips to the city and hardcore matinées at CBGB's.

I wish my 80s were the one making the comeback.

And lastly, we're starting our search to see how much someone wants to lend us to buy a house! (And what the best rate we can get is of course.) So exciting! In fact, that whole process is gonna need a blog of it's own. I've been scoping out the houses in Charlotte though, and it's got me pretty psyched! You can't imagine how much house you can get for a realistic price there! Whee!

Eulogy for a Friend, Part I

2007-05-29T17:30:00.000-04:00

So as most of you have heard by now, we had to put my sweet little cat Autumn to sleep on Sunday. I think I've totally cried my insides out at this point. But every time I think it's stopped, I realize I was wrong.

On Saturday night I noticed she wasn't behaving normally, and she was leaving little drops of bloody urine around the house, so I decided to take her to the vet first thing Sunday morning for what was obviously a bladder infection. What I didn't know, and what the doctor told us was that she was also in renal failure, and her pancreas was inflamed. There were things he could do to try and treat her, but what would fix the one would do things to hurt the other conditions and vice-versa. It was so hard to realize that ultimately she wasn't going to recover from those things, and it would just be more humane to her to put her to rest than to have her suffer through a slow and painful decline of her systems, just so we could spend a little more time with her. It was the hardest, most awful decision I've ever had to make, but she is at peace now. Craig and I were with her as she passed, and I know she knew we loved her.

I probably haven't had more than 6 hours sleep since Saturday night when I realized she was very sick. I'm going to post a memorial blog just as soon as I can get it together long enough to do so. (I've written most of it, I just haven't added the pictures.) Our other cat, Shiva, seems a little more needy than usual too, and you can tell she occasionally looks around like she expects her companion to just come around the corner. But with a little patience, and a little extra love and attention, I think she will adjust okay. (I'm not so sure about me.)

The vet is going to have her ashes returned to us, so when Craig and I move to our new home, we can place her in a comfortable, sunny spot where she can always stay a part of our family. Craig's dad also suggested we put a birdbath near her, and I thought that was a really nice idea.

So please love your own furry family members a little more tonight, in memory of the dear, sweet little friend who had so much unconditional love for everyone, and whom we all loved so much. We will miss her.

Upheaval

2007-05-03T12:30:00.000-04:00

Just when you think everything is going to be okay, and is going along nicely...

Our landlord informed us last night that she is raising our monthly rent by $150 as of July 1st. We already pay an outrageous price for this place:
2 BR + loft, 2 bath, living room, dining room, washer/dryer included, etc = $1600/month.

I pretty much told her she's out of her mind if she thinks we're going to pay $1725 for this place. (The least reason of which is that we can DEFINITELY find a comparable and/or newer place for cheaper.)

I can't complain too much because she's really been the nicest, and the reason she's raising the rent is because she's gotten married and is officially converting this condo she owns to a rental property. Her ARM came up, and she had to refinance, and now she owes more money due to her new interest rate. So in order for her just to break even, she needs to raise the rent.

While I'm totally sympathetic to that, I'm still pissed.

This leaves us four options:

1. Stay and pay that ridiculous rent for a place that isn't even worth $1600/mo.

2. Find a new place to rent in the area. Which gives us 2 months or so to work that all out and get packed, etc.
However, Craig has given me the ultimatum that he doesn't want to move again unless it's into a house so...

3. Buy a house.

There's no fucking way we can afford a house in this area.

(For laughs, you may like to check out http://www.zillow.com. It will display a "heat map" of house values in a particular area. Check out your own house value! BFE is starting to look pretty good.)

That means we'd have to move somewhere else entirely. I'm lucky with my job, because I'm a regional resource. I can move a lot of places on the East coast. Craig would have to quit his job. Which sucks, because he loves his job.

4. Buy a condo/townhome.
That, we could afford. However, why would I buy something when I'd still have to share walls with other people?

We don't know what to do.

Los Vagas

2007-03-23T16:30:00.000-04:00

So we've planned a very spur-of-moment trip to Las Vegas for Easter weekend.

What better way to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord?!

My sister called me a couple of weeks ago and said, "Easter is cancelled!" I'm like...what? Because I thought maybe the Second Coming had happened and no one told me, or James Cameron found out the whole "resurrection" thing was a hoax. But no, she just meant that our parents were going on some kind of reunion trip that would have them in Las Vegas for Easter, so the usual get together at the family home in Jersey was not happening. After a few moments of thought, I said...

"Let's go to Vegas."

So we started thinking about it and throwing together plans, and here we are!

We got the world's most cheap-ass tickets from JetBlue: $99 each way, which was somehow only miraculously available for a few hours on Tuesday. When I had checked a few hours earlier, the "from Vegas" price was $199. Then it went down. Now it's back up to $199/$149 each way! Whee!

Prolix and Husband are coming with us. (Younger sister Xtina and husband cannot make it due to financial troubles.) We've got a "spa suite" at the Luxor to stay in. I'm sure the weather will be lovely because it's the DESERT. We're talking about going to good restaurants and to see the MGM's lion habitrail, and possibly seeing Cirque du Soleil "Love" (aka the Beatles gig.)

So what should we go do? What should we see? Any recommendations? Any tales of debauchery? To hell with this, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" crap! Spill!!

Also, if anyone has any stories about JetBlue, good or bad, we've never flown with them before so we'd love to hear them! (Yeah we know about the whole stuck-on-the-runway-for-nine-hours thing, but we consider that an anomaly, and they've more than tried to make up to their customers for it.)

Mini Married Life Update

2007-03-13T13:00:00.000-04:00

I'm excited that tonight Craig and I have tickets to see Janeane Garofalo at the State Theater. It's the first time we've been out at night to do something (other than go out to dinner) since...well, it seems like forever! It was his idea, too.

We're starting to settle in, being more comfortable with one another, though it hardly seemed possible considering how close we were before. Every day seems to bring a new understanding, or something else I hadn't considered, or some new level of just being a couple. As much fun as it would be to have babies, right now I'm still waiting to see where the married-couple thing goes, and I wouldn't want to spoil it or keep it from reaching its potential. Still...tick, tick, tick, tick...

If I had gotten pregnant on my wedding night, we'd be having a baby this month.

In other news, I'm starting to settle into my new last name. I like the sound of it. I like the way it goes with my first name. I like that no one is ever unsure how to pronounce it. Occasionally they leave out an L or add an S, but so what; it's still mostly right. I like signing it because it's all loops and just seems to flow off the tip of my pen, though sometimes I get carried away and throw in a loop too many.

Also, unrelated, it's nice to have all the windows open again.

Even if it means it's "motorcycle weather" for the douche who lives downstairs.

Taking the Long Way Around

2007-02-28T02:07:00.000-05:00

My friends from High School
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses
In the same zip codes where their parents live

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow
I hit the highway...

February 28, 2007 marks 11 years since I left "home."

I didn't just move out of my parents' house, I left NJ and I didn't look back.

I left with a trunk full of my belongings in my '71 Monte Carlo, the blessings of my mother, and the blatant disowning of my father, and took what would be the first of many 8 hour drives down I-95 to Raleigh, NC. (and later beyond.)

I began a new life, my own life, full of potential to be and do whatever I wanted. I don't think everyone gets a chance like that in life. Or if they do, they chicken out. But if you see the road before you, and it seems so clear and bright, you just can't be afraid to take it. Yes, the unknown is scary. But I think I've always been more afraid of the slow death of the known...

I've learned more about myself in the last 11 years than I think I ever believed I could have when I left.

I learned about and touched and spoke to all walks of life, some I never could or would have just staying in New Jersey. I made fleeting acquaintances and lifelong friends all over the world. I took risks I never thought I could, and experienced things I never thought were possible for me. I had the highest of highs and the most cold rock-bottom lows.

I proved to myself the existence of angels at the depth of one of those lows. Once when I was almost the hands of my own undoing, this angel swept in and saved me from myself, and I will never know whether she had any idea of what she did for me. But just as quickly she was gone, and to this day, (as good as I am at internet searches!) she remains a ghost. Which is a shame, because I miss her, and I would love to see her again just to thank her... But I never again doubted the existence of God.

(And coincidentally, it was proven to me that God couldn't possibly hate gays, as this woman, on a gay-scale of 1 to 10 was "Had David Crosby's child with her wife.")

If you told the me-girl of 11 years ago that she would be here, and who I am this day, you would have gotten the raised eyebrow and probably a nervous laugh.

I'd like to think that 10 years from now if you told the me of today what the future holds, you'd get a confident smile and a nod like, "Yes, of course. I wouldn't have expected any less."

More to come...

Rear Window

2006-11-28T01:30:00.000-05:00

I hate my neighbors. This is no secret to most people.

Not all of them, mind you, just the ones who live downstairs. The Man and the Woman. The ones that, even though they live below me, I can hear them walking around. The chronic door-slammers. The gas-wasting Man who consistently starts one of his vehicles and lets it run for 10 or more minutes before he drives it anywhere. The Man who doesn't own a single quiet vehicle (one is a "larger than anyone should ever need" diesel pickup truck, and the other, a motorfriggingcycle.) It's especially troublesome in the warm months when I have the windows open, and it's 8:30 am on a Saturday morning, we're sleeping, and our bedroom fills with exhaust as the motorfriggingcycle runs and runs. LOUD, it's so loud. And speaking of open windows, did I mention that the Woman likes to smoke on her deck? And remember, she lives below us! Mmm, I love when my whole house smells like smoke instead of fresh air! In the winter, the Woman smokes in the bathroom. How do I know? We can smell it in OUR bathroom. Through the pipes? Through the floor? I have no idea, but it's gross.

They have an Annoying Dog. A big dog, some kind of chocolate lab or rottweiler mix or something. Now, I like dogs. But they like to leave the Dog on the deck in the warm months, so dogs being dogs, it barks at ev.er.y.thing. People. Cars. Birds. The wind. Woof woof woof! When the condo association put out a memo saying that the "decks are not to be used as dog runs" they started keeping him inside. But they leave the window in the dining room open. The Dog is tall enough to see out the window... Woof woof woof!

Also, the Man and the Woman, they like to fuck. Loudly. And fight. Equally loudly. And then fuck again. At first, admittedly, it was amusing. I'm not saying we pressed our ears to the walls and giggled or anything, but...Okay, so we did. But a year later, it's not so funny anymore.

Lately they've been fighting a lot more. Since we stopped listening, I MEAN, from what I can hear, it's been a lot of angry words and door slamming. And less fucking, from what I can tell.

So last week, I noticed that I hadn't seen the Woman in a few days. The Man came and went as normal. (Did I mention he keeps weird hours? He does.) One night, he parked his truck out in front of the building, (and let it run of course) and banged around in his apartment for about 15 minutes. I thought maybe he was moving an appliance in or out or something. But then, I didn't see anything in the back of the truck as he left... Still no sign of the Woman. Then her car was gone the next day. It's been a little more than a week since I've seen her, and almost a week that her car has been gone...

So my new theory is that the Man killed the Woman, disposed of the body, and then got rid of her car somewhere.

What?! It could happen.

Much happier blog

2006-10-18T02:30:00.000-04:00

I like riding the DC Metro. I guess because I don't have to do it every day, it still has some of its "fun and adventure" quality to me. It's relatively clean, and safe, and it's architecturally pretty nice. It's not very expensive, and it saves me the trouble of having to drive all the way to and from DC, and worrying about a place to park, and driving during rush hour, etc.

I have three things I really like about it, that may seem a bit odd...

First, I love the lights on the platform that flash slowly when the train is coming into the station. It's genius.

Second, I like when you're in an underground station, and it's kind of quiet, and there aren't a lot of people waiting for the train. Suddenly, out of the darkness, comes the headlight of the ghost train.

It looks like any normal train until it gets closer to you. It slows its pace some as it comes into the station, but it's still going too fast to stop. Then you notice the windows are all dark, and there are no passengers. The dark car windows flip by like frames in a silent movie. And then the train is gone, and the station goes back to the quiet of waiting. You'll know when one is coming because the arrival signboard will just say "Train" and however many minutes until the ghost train comes by. It's just a little eerie, but I love when it happens!

The third thing I like is the new "zoetrope"-like ads they've installed in a few stations. As the train reaches its traveling speed in the tunnel, and you look out the window, you'll see an ad that looks like a movie playing. It's an illusion based on the motion of the train and "frames" that have been applied to the tunnel walls. It looks super-cool. It's hard to describe, so you can see the link of someone's footage here.

They have that one for Lincoln, and I've seen ones for Target on the Red Line. I think they're fun!

Pie in the Sky, Part II

2006-10-17T10:30:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lapse. Life's been busy. But Craig said something again last night that made me think some more about those goals...

Two weeks later, the job is still in the air. They've hired the managers, so I'm just waiting for my interview. The other people on my team seem pretty confident that I will still have a job, but I'm still taking the wait-and-see approach. I wanted to start looking for a job but I can't really imagine telling a company that I will need to put them on hold for another 30 days until I have a finite decision.

So that brings me to the problem I'm facing. I can't plan anything further in my life until I know, at the very least, my employment status.

Craig told me the other day that this job is the best job he's ever had. That made me so happy, because I know how much he's really wanted a job that he doesn't loathe going to every day, especially since I saw him at his last job which he HATED. So it means a lot to me that he keep it for a while. That means we won't move anywhere soon.

Looming Unattainable Goal 1: Buy a house

After I lived in apartments for a couple of years, I learned some rules about renting a good place. Don't ever get a place underneath someone else, for example. Top floor only, when possible, end unit, hopefully there's an elevator. Make sure it's got the basics: dishwasher, icemaker, central heat/air, adequate parking. You get the idea. But after the first 5 years, that got old. And now I'm going on 11 years that I've been renting. I want a place I can make my own. I want to paint. I want to put holes in the wall. I want new appliances. I want to spill things on my carpet without worrying about what's going to happen to my deposit. I want a YARD and a garden. All understandable wants and needs.

So where do we live?
In the most wealthy county in the United States. No joke.

Does that mean we're wealthy? Right.

In the last 5 years, Loudoun County's median house price rose from $198,000 to $409,940. Neighboring Fairfax County: from $215,000 in 1999 to $425,700 in 2004.

How do people afford houses that cost that much?? I don't think, in my wildest dreams, we could ever be able to afford that. Not that we'd need too much house either. But you won't find a home here, that's not a townhome or a condo, or a place that's practically in West Virginia, for less than $300K.

To be fair, I haven't determined that perhaps those homes don't really exist, but the realtors don't want to try to sell them. They're obviously not going to make as much money on that house, so why put the effort into it? But I'm also thinking that $200K might just get you some sort of roach-infested firetrap.

Compared to Charlotte, NC where the median home price is still $194K. Some days I really regret leaving...

So that puts my time window for buying a home way into the future. I will have to continue to try and be content for now. Which still means we're getting raped on the price of renting, because if a home costs that much to buy, you can imagine how inflated rent is here too.

Looming Unattainable Goal 2: Have a baby.

Let's face facts: Craig's 28, and a guy, so he can have kids whenever. But I'm 35, and my eggs ain't gettin any fresher! I don't want to be having my first child at 40. And what if he really did get the unfortunate side effect of sterility from the chemotherapy? The longer we wait to find out, the slimmer the chances get that we will succeed.

But who wants to have a baby while they're living in a rented place? Sure, people do it, but do I want to? Not really. That brings us back to goal number one...

Can we afford to have a child? People much poorer than us can do it, so I'm not terribly concerned. How much money should we save? Will I keep working? Do I still have a job? Can you see how this just goes around and around?

Also, I think we wanna make real sure we've done as many things as we want to do together before we put our lives on hold for the next 18 years. Sure, people say that's not how you should do it, but how many people actually live that way? I was lucky when I was a kid, because my dad was a pilot and my mom was a SAHM. So our family still traveled a LOT. I think we could, I just want to know for sure that we're ready. Or at least as ready as we can reasonably prepare for.

We talked about it again briefly last night. I want to be able to come up with some kind of game plan, and because I can't, I'm just incredibly frustrated.

Pie in the Sky, Part I

2006-09-29T02:00:00.000-04:00

I am categorically miserable right now.

Not with my marriage.
My husband is amazing, and I love him more than life itself, and I wouldn't trade him for the world.
My family is perfect. No complaints there.
My health is questionable, but I'm not going to worry about anything I'm not sure of.

It just seems like every other aspect of my life is in disrepair. I have seemingly unattainable goals, which seem attainable for everyone else I know, but somehow I just don't know how to get there.

This is strange and new to me because I'm normally known as the "successful" one. If you ask my friend Sandy, she'll tell you that I've always been the most "together" person she's ever known. If I see something I want, I go for it and just get it done. No problem. And now I feel helpless and lost and I don't know where to begin.

Let's start with my job. For those of you following along at home, I took my current position last June while I was still living in Charlotte. With a promise of better pay, a more flexible schedule, and the chance to use my more technical abilities, it seemed like a fair trade for having to relocate. I moved us to the Washington DC metro area in December. That was the beginning to a long string of very negative circumstances which I don't really feel like enumerating right now. It could turn out to be one of the worst mistakes I've ever made.

Regardless of my situation, Craig got a great job, which he loves, with people who are super-nice, and an ultra-lax dress code, and only about a half hour commute. We're trying to build him some job equity at this place because after being sick and out of work for a year, then moving to Charlotte and holding a job there for only a year, it's not looking healthy on his resume. So this is the perfect opportunity for him. Plus, he's already being recognized as a valuable employee, and has received a promotion and a raise. It's in our best interest to keep him there.

Meanwhile, at my job, my team is being "restructured." In short, what that means is that they're laying everyone off, and if you want to apply for one of the "new" jobs, and you're in a particular region like me, you're basically re-applying for your own job.
The main reasons I think this happened are:

1. They wanted to fire some people, and in this litigious era, this is the easiest way. I've seen it before. It's true there are fewer fitting/available positions then there are people currently on my team.

2. The team really WAS in need of a redirect. We've had no structure, no real cause, our duties are vague. My boss's boss told me that I was sort of a "test" subject for her when I got hired because she wanted to see what my "training" and learning curve was like with the team in its current state. She said she's watched me struggle, and I'm part of the reason this is happening. Okay, at least that means it may get better!

3. Our team works non-billable hours. They want to start charging people for our services. This may work, or it may mean I have less to do because people don't want to pay. We'll have to see.

Anyway, at this point in time, I am VERY reluctant to start any new projects. What if I do get pushed out of this position? If I've busted my ass for the last month while I'm waiting to be rehired, and they give the job to someone else, I'll be PISSED. So I feel I'm in a terribly awkward position.

And I haven't heard anything for about 3 weeks. We were told they would be hiring the managers first as to have them take part in hiring their staff. That's fine, but the waiting is agonizing.

The real kick in the ass is that I can't quit and find another job. When I relocated, they paid me a sizeable lump sum to cover my relocation expenses. But I had to sign a form saying that I would have to stay with the company for at least 2 years, or I would have to pay all or a portion of the money back depending upon the time I stayed. Now I asked HR, if my job were being eliminated as it is, and I found some other opportunity, would I still have to pay the money back? I was told that I would be considered for the position, but if I didn't get it, I still have 90 days to find something else within the company. If I quit before that 90 days is up, I have to pay back the money. If I can't find anything within that 90 days, I would be relieved of the obligation.

So they basically have me in a bind. Can't quit, just have to wait and see what happens.

Limbo=death

Well, it's bedtime though. I'll be back with the implications of all this, including my seemingly unattainable goals, later...

Useless Mental Exercise

2006-09-08T18:30:00.000-04:00

Sometimes when I can't sleep, I lie in bed and create mental exercises for myself to distract my thoughts just enough that I can drift off. For example, I picture a blackboard in my head, and write the number 100 on it in chalk. Then I erase it. Then I write 99. Then I erase it. I never get all the way to zero.

Another one is to logically think out minute by minute what I would do if I discovered I won the lottery.

Wouldn't it be great here if I just went: GOOD THING I DID THAT BECAUSE I WON!!!!!!!

I didn't.

Anyway, I'll just go through the process. What the excitement would be like, would I call someone right away, how would I plan for the future?

Well, the other night I watched too much "Miami Ink" before I went to bed, and it occurred to me to wonder, "Why did I never decide to become a tattoo artist??" I have the creativity and artistic talent, and even if I was only half good, there's a portion of the art that's tracing or riffing off other things that have already been drawn. I have the manual dexterity to work the tools of the trade. I think tattoos are pretty damn cool. The work atmosphere is good, you can wear what you want, and if you get good enough at it, it earns you prestige and money.

I guess, and I certainly don't mean this as any disrespect to anyone in the profession, that it would be squandering of my more cerebral talents. I don't know any tattoo artists with MBAs or advanced technical certifications. While they all seem to love their jobs, I get the impression from some of the ones I know that it was a natural path for them because they just didn't have the head or the attitude for anything else. Some of the other ones I know were like, it was this or another trade, like construction or mechanics.

That's never been my slant, but I'm not sure why. How did I get steered into the business world? Because that was where the money is and that's what I thought I wanted?

Then I get to thinking that no matter how many "hands on" jobs I've gotten into, it seems when you get too good at it, the first thing they want to do is move you into management. And so I went. Sometimes willingly, and sometimes just for the money or the experience. And I'm good at it, so why not?

But I guess I've just started looking for other things in my life now, especially having just had a birthday that qualifies for the start of my "mid-life" years. I'm going to keep my eyes open for as many opportunities as possible.

Would I like to get into tattooing? Totally.

Goodyear? More like...

2006-08-09T23:38:00.000-04:00

I have 97 Saturn SL2 that I was well aware probably needed a new alternator, because it was making some noise, and probably also needed a new engine temperature sensor. Craig had a lukewarm-at-best experience with an auto repair place here, so I decided since this new Goodyear service station was down the road, maybe I would try taking it to them for an evaluation.

My hand was forced last week when I went to lunch with Craig, brought him back to the office, and my car wouldn't start. I had a nearly dead battery. Fortunately the battery was under warranty with AutoZone, so that was an easy replacement, and I was able to get it home. But I wanted to bring it to Goodyear to get the voltage checked and make sure the alternator was charging correctly.

Now let me preface this by saying that although I'm a woman, I know a good deal about cars. I grew up around my dad who always had 4 or 5 cars in the driveway, and he always did all his own maintenance, including all the work on my first car: a '71 Monte Carlo which had been in the family since new. He never once dismissed my questions because I'm a girl, and actually encouraged me to work along with him. So let's assume I know a little about cars.

I called the shop the night before I came in to check the hours and see if they were okay just doing a diagnostic for me. I spoke to Steve, who was friendly and helpful...

When I brought my car over the next day, I was barely greeted by a man at the counter. He hardly looked at me the whole time I spoke to him. I explained that I just replaced my battery the previous night, and I wanted them to check the system to make sure it was charging correctly. The clerk asked me twice if I had been in there before, which I had not. He took my information and asked if there was anything else I needed. I told him that I wanted them to take a look at the engine temperature sensor, because I sometimes get weird readings from the gauge in the dash. It will be scorching heat and my gauge will barely show an increase, and other times it appears to be working normally.

The clerk looked at me like I was speaking Chinese. Trying to be helpful, I said, "You know, coolant temperature?" He called over the other person working at the desk and briefly mumbled a question like "...temperature sensor?" I explained it over again to the second guy, and added, "You know, if it's not working, that auxiliary fan isn't going to kick in..." Without responding to me directly, or even missing a beat, the second guy told the first guy, "Eighty five dollars."

I was a little stunned, because, $85?? Guy #1 asked if that was okay, and said they had to hook it up to the diagnostic computers, and it would probably be a while, blah blah blah. So I figured, okay, fine. He printed up an estimate and told me it would probably be a couple of hours. He DID ask me if I needed a ride home, but since I only live a couple of blocks away, I said I would just walk.

And then he didn't say anything... So I said, "So you'll call me when it's ready?" and he just gave me half a nod and looked back down at the counter. No thank you or anything. So I left.

About an hour later, I got a call from the station and the caller asked if it was okay if I talked to the technician working on my car. I said, "Sure." (For obvious reasons, I actually prefer that.) He told me my alternator was acually OVERcharging, and since it was making some noise too, it should probably be replaced. He then proceeded to explain the dangers of overcharging, etc etc, and I said fine, thanks. I asked him what the voltage reading actually was and it was 15.5-16 v. (Normal is around 14.)

Then he asked me about the temp sensor and I told him what I told the other guys. He asked some good questions, and we actually had a nice, intelligent conversation. This was the most positive experience of the day so far! He said they would give me a call again in a bit, and I thanked him for his time.

About an hour after that, I received a call from the service manager, who had the details of my diagnostics and a quote. First, the alternator.

The alternator was overcharging and would need to be replaced. However, it was almost all labor because they needed to remove the power steering pump to get to it. Their estimate:

SEVEN HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS.

My jaw dropped. Was he SERIOUS? That was the most far-fetched outrageous quote I think I've ever heard. I told him that about 6 years ago, I had the alternator replaced by the Saturn dealership. Now we all know that the dealership is the LAST place you're ever going to get a bargain. The dealership's total cost? $350, AND they had installed a brand new battery. The service manager's reply? "Oh, well, that's the price. It's very hard to get to."

They also estimated that the temperature sensor and thermostat needed to be replaced, and once again labor-related it would be ANOTHER SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS. At this point I knew they were out of their minds. The thing is in a relatively easy to get to place. I had gotten a quote from Saturn for $250 when they first discovered the sensor looked a bit corroded, but it wasn't a big problem right then.

So I asked the man on the phone if he was the service writer, and he said no, but he was the service manager. I was absolutely flabbergasted, and there was a silence of several seconds on the phone. He said I didn't have to make up my mind right now, and honestly he didn't think he could do it today. (He STILL thought I was going to get it done there!!!) I said regardless that I couldn't be without my car, so I would come pick it up tonight, and that I absolutely wanted a copy of that quote.

So when Craig got home from work, he dropped me off and went to get gas. I went in and the lady at the counter was helping someone else, but she acknowledged me and said it would be just a moment. However, guy #1 was still there and just got my paperwork out and called me over. Which was only the second positive experience of the whole day.

He told me that the diagnostics would be $100, and showed me my copy of the quote. Things I learned from the quote:

They added a coolant flush. They added a second set of diagnostics just like the ones I had just received. And they seriously believed I was going to pay $1600 for a job that AT THE DEALERSHIP wouldn't cost me more than $600!

I explained to guy #1 that I had brought with me my service bill from the first time I had the alternator replaced. See, $350. He just said, "Huh...Can I make a copy of that?" I told him go right ahead, and that maybe it will help them because not everyone would be like, "Okay, sure I'll pay $750 for this job." He just shrugged.

A brief exchange to pay for the diagnostics later, I was taking my car home.

No attempt to make things right.
No apology or explanation for trying to rip me off so heinously.
No effort to make adjustments or offer alternatives or suggestions.
Absolutely one of the lamest, most unfulfilling service experiences I've ever had.

Lessons and Resolutions?

Perhaps they would have treated my husband better. Maybe it's just the paranoia from being treated poorly at service stations for years and years, but it's hard to get away from that feeling.

Things I secretly knew about before I brought my car in to them:

1. You don't need to remove the PS pump on that car to get to the alternator. You can go in through the passenger side wheel well. A good tech with a lift can do the whole job in about 45 minutes.

2. I'm not really all that worried about the temperature sensor. In my car, running the AC switches on that aux fan, and I'll certainly be using the AC. However, malfunctioning can make the engine run a little screwy, and consequently also won't be good for gas mileage. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with the thermostat. I'm pretty sure all I've got is a bad connector.

3. Yes, the alternator may have been overcharging a little. But it was a brand new battery. They do that sometimes when you put a new battery in because who knows how long that battery had been sitting on the shelf? It could have lost some charge and the alternator was trying to compensate a bit.

So I had to take a trip to NJ this weekend to see the family for my sister's suprise wedding shower. I told my dad about the whole thing. He was as shocked and appalled as I was, but glad that I stood up for myself.

We tested the voltage: 14.1 v.

The alternator WAS still making a whining sound though. He bought an alternator from Napa for $95, and we put it in. My final cost? A couple of hours of tech support for his computers!

I still will need to get that temperature thing fixed, but I'd go back to the dealership before I'd go back to that shop...

The world stops when you don't leave the house.

2006-08-08T13:26:00.000-04:00

Or at least it seems that way.

I work from home most days. This means great things for us: we save on gas money and/or me eating lunch out, I get a few chores and errands done sometimes in between job tasks, (it only takes a second to throw a load of laundry in), I can have dinner ready when Craig gets home from work, etc.

But there's a crazy amount of isolation that happens when you just don't SEE people. Sure I call and email people all day long. But I've always been a much bigger fan of face-to-face interaction.

Craig and I both have issues with the phone. I would rather drive over to a store to see what they've got than call them up and wait for some (usually clueless or ill-tempered) person to check on something for me. I would take a face-to-face meeting over a conference call any day. I'm working on getting over my issues, because in my business I have to, but it's still a challenge.

I had a nice breakfast meeting with my boss's boss last Thursday. It seems our team is going to be "restructured." It's possible we will have to reapply for our jobs. Some people, based on their previous performance, will be "less eligible" than others. If she and I had just had a phone call, I don't think it would have been the same meeting. She had prepared a little presentation handout to show me that kind of explained the whole thing. It was much easier to look her in the face and ask questions, and really gauge her response, than it ever would have been to gather all that over the phone.

So back to the original point... What if you don't see people for days and days? You end up in your own little bubble. Your own little self-referential hidey hole. A comfort zone of sorts where everything else outside of that is put on hold. It will still be there when you come out, and nothing will have changed.

Disconnected, please try again.

2006-07-23T14:06:00.000-04:00

I was watching Clerks II yesterday (for the third time!) and I feel a lot like Randal at the end, where he's lamenting how he doesn't want to have to start making new friends at his age. I feel the same way.

It's so much easier to become complacent, to live in your own insulated bubble.

Craig made a good point about it yesterday. He said that there are different stages in your life where you make friends. In school, it's the people you go to school with. When you're in college, it's the people you live with and take classes with because you have similar interests. When you get a job, it's the people you work with, and then when you have kids, you make friends with the parents of your kids' friends.

We moved in-between stages.

I had already made the work friends, and the people-with-similar-interests friends. Then we moved. Now I work from home most days, so my opportunities to meet people are much smaller. Even the days I do go to the office, my coworkers are all older than I am, or we just have absolutely nothing in common. They're nice enough acquaintances, but I probably wouldn't go further than have lunch with them one day.

We of course don't have children yet.

I'm still puzzled as to how grownups make friends. Especially ones that live in the wings like I do. I'm not like everyone else, and consequently, I've attracted a husband who's not like everyone else. We don't watch sports, or Desperate Housewives. We don't like going to bars or clubs and dancing. Our taste in music is even along the sidelines. The fact is, we're specialized in what we like.

So we spend a lot of time online. When your social network is the WORLD, the opportunities to find the commonalities are that much bigger. And we've made some really lovely online friends. But when the people you feel closest to on the inside are possibly on the other side of the continent or across the ocean, it doesn't really make for good dinner plans.

Disconnected

2006-07-22T18:45:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I think no matter how hard I try I will always be a solitary person.

It seems no matter how I make an effort, reach out to be social, chat it up with a person or two, I walk away alone.

I lived in Charlotte for 8 years and I can probably count on one hand the people I consider real friends. The people that I would go back to see. The people I know that if I said, "Come to my wedding - I know it's in NJ but please try" that would be there come hell or high water.

Sometimes it takes a long time to figure out who these people are. But when you do it's worth it.

I know too that the handful of real friends I do have understand me. They know if I go off for a little while and they don't hear from me, that everything's okay, and that they don't need to worry. They don't have to wonder if we're still friends. When I see them again, we just pick up where we left off, whether that was a week ago, a month ago or nearly a year.

They know that I will just go away for a while too. And they're okay with it.

I'm not much of a talker in a social setting. I'm much more of a listener. I love to have conversations with the kind of people who guarantee that there will never be an awkward silence. Whether that means that I'm listening to their story about the latest in their tragic love life, or just the great place they had lunch yesterday, it doesn't matter. I will sit and absorb it all. I'm a pretty active listener; I will take and feedback and ask questions and really wait to hear the answer. I just would rather listen to anyone speak than have to tell what I feel are really boring stories about myself.

There's that line from Fight Club where Marla says that no one listens, they're just waiting for their turn to speak. I've always strived to be the opposite of that.

And maybe that's why when I'm put on the spot I have a hard time being idly conversational. I come off as boring. I seem aloof. People worry that I'm judging them because I don't talk. Really, I'm just so interested in what THEY have to say, that I'm not even thinking about myself and what to say next.

Chain Mania

2006-03-31T15:53:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been sucked in by a chain restaurant without ever realizing it was a chain? It's happened to me at least a few times.

When I was just out of high school, my friends and I went all the way out to Hazlet to go to the Macaroni Grill. We thought it was such a kick that they had these pieces of paper on the table that you could draw on while you waited for your food. The food was just okay, but...the entertainment value of that paper was priceless!

Now there's lots of places that do that of course. And then I started seeing that restaurant a lot more often.

When I lived in NC, I got sucked in by Carrabbas. Now there was some good food. They gave you a TON for a reasonable price. I used to take my parents there when they would visit.

Also a chain.

Then when I moved to Charlotte, I was really into PF Changs for a while. Mmm lettuce wraps.

Damn, also a chain.

Then there was Rock Bottom Brewery. How are you going to claim to be a micro-brewery when you're really a chain restaurant?? For shame.

At least those were honest, easy to make mistakes, and not like I got sucked in by the Hard Rock Cafe or something...

Henry Rollins, Genius

2006-03-22T15:26:00.000-05:00

I'm the most blog-postin-lapse-tist person ever...

Well, since I have nothing creative to say today, I'm going to bite some words from my old favorite, Henry Rollins. He did one of those online interviews at the Washington Post back in January, and I just found it today. It's long, but I couldn't help but read it all. Enjoy!

Rollins Live

Henry Rollins

Actor, Musician, Spoken Word
Wednesday, January 11, 2006; 2:00 PM

Actor, musician and spoken word performer Henry Rollins was online Wednesday, Jan. 11, at 2 p.m. ET to discuss his career, pop culture, the news and anything that's on your mind.

Rollins has come a long way since growing up in D.C. He first made a name for himself as lead singer of '80s punk band Black Flag. Then, with his own Rollins Band and as an actor with appearances in movies ("Johnny Mnemonic", "Dogtown and Z-Boys") and TV. In the past decade, though, Rollins really hit his stride performing one-man spoken word shows -- addressing topics ranging from politics to the environment to sexuality to his own neuroses. He's also host of "Full Metal Challenge" on the Learning Channel and the upcoming (April 1) "Henry Rollins Show" on the Independent Film Channel. Since the beginning of the war in Iraq, Rollins has also toured with the USO to perform for troops in the Gulf.

____________________

Washington, D.C.: You clearly know the difference between supporting a war, and supporting the people who have no choice but to fight in that war. What's your take on why so many Americans don't understand that you can support the troops without supporting the actual war ?

Henry Rollins: I think the president has done a very good job. Fox News has done a very good job and a lot of conservatives have done a very good job in blurring those lines. I think there was a concerted effort to make people who ask questions about the war seem unpatriotic. Which is completely offensive to me. Because you can't rationally attack someone who has a conflicting point of view any other way on this topic.

_______________________

Maryland: Hey Henry --

Two things: First, I wanted to thank you for something not mentioned in your introductory write-up, the fantastic stuff you've done with 2.13.61 publishing -- not only bringing us your words, but important works from writers ranging from Nick Cave to Joe Cole, from Iggy Pop to Hubert Selby.

Secondly, to get a little more irreverent, how did you wind up recording with the almighty Shatner, and what are your thoughts on the results?

Henry Rollins: The Shatner project was a request from Ben Folds, who is a great musician. He was producing an album for Shatner and asked if I would take part and I said life is too short -- and said sure.

What was interesting is that we had no song. We just went into the studio and recorded what happened. The result was great and I've spent a few evenings at the Shatner home since and it's been great. He's a very nice man.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Hi Henry,I'm curious about your thoughts on satellite radio and other avenues, such as blogging, that are now allowing us to exercise our right of free speech.

Henry Rollins: Satellite radio I think remains to be seen how well that's going to work. In theory I like it. I just don't know if people are going to dump traditional radio for it.

As far as blogging, I think it's great. Perhaps it'll teach Americans how to write, and form a sentence. And I think having an opinion is a very healthy thing and blogging gives people a chance to articulate without impacting much else on someone else's life.

_______________________

Arlington, Va.: I really enjoy your spoken word shows. I enjoyed the story of your train trip across Russia. My favorite was your story of going to see Kiss live.

I would give you a hug for all of your USO work.

The Question:Were you a vegetarian at one point? Did you give it up ? If so why?

Thanks

Henry Rollins: I am basically a vegetarian who will sometimes eat red meat when there's no other protein option. For example, in the middle of nowhere on a USO tour. Past that, I'm a vegetable and fish guy.

_______________________

Potomac Falls, Va.: How do you stay so healthy and train when your schedule calls for so much travel -- is it just finding a way to pump some weight, do cardio, stretch and eat well?

Henry Rollins: Eating well is becoming easier on the road as more places are health conscious. Gyms are easy to find anywhere there's electricity and traffic. Time is the hard part, but I do my best and I learned a long time ago that without recuperative sleep, good nutrition and constant exercise, this high stress lifestyle of traveling, etc., quickly takes a toll.

And how do I do it? I just see it as a very important thing and make sure I get it done.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Mr. Rollins,

How has the experience of growing up in the DC area affected your music/acting (i.e. are you more politically aware than if you grown up in Kansas)?

Where in Arlington did you live?

Thanks.

Henry Rollins: Growing up in D.C. affected me musically by nature of being in the D.C. music scene and having people like Ian Mackeye be such a heavy influence on me. My mother spent her whole career working in the government, basically trying to help Johnny to learn to read, so politics was always around me.

As far as my acting, I'm just trying to get through that day, so where I came from will not help or hinder. Fear of failure gets me over that wall.

In Arlington, I lived right behind right behind the Marriott on Pierce Street. The apartment building has apparently been leveled.

We all left home and migrated across the Key Bridge. I became an Arlingtonian. It was finances. I worked for $3.50 an hour in 1979.

_______________________

Arlington, Va.: Will a version of the Rollins Band tour again? When?

Henry Rollins: I hope so. And I am working towards that.

_______________________

Anonymous: Can you lift more than Joe Piscapo?

Henry Rollins: I doubt it and who cares.

_______________________

Sacramento, Calif.: How do you adapt your spoken word shows to international audiences? Do they get the stuff about Walmart or do you talk about the things that have more mass appeal (like your trip in Siberia)?

Henry Rollins: Good question. I do a lot of shows internationally. I am very aware of losing impact if I tell a story with too many "inside" references. So when in Germany, I leave out the Fox News names because I'm going to leave them behind if I talk about O'Reilly or Hannity. That is not to say that I dumb down the message, because the audience isn't stupid. But there's a way to have impact with an audience and concentrate on broader themes and that's where the travel stories come in marvelously.

_______________________

Silver Spring, Md.: Can you share with us one of your fondest memories from your childhood/teenagerhood with Ian MacKaye?

Henry Rollins: I think my fondest memory would just be having Ian as my friend for over 30 years and there's been so many good times, it'd be hard to pick out one. It is one of the good fortunes of my life to have him as my friend. He's truly inspirational to me. I often ask 'What would Ian do?' and he's been a great help to me.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Dear Henry,Why should we listen to you? What is your aim in adding your voice to the public discourse. Money, fame, responsibility or something else. I'm not saying that you're not intelligent and articulate but I'm thinking in more general terms. With the constant spin and occasional bald lying that are thrown around in today's public discourse why should we believe that you are not infected by the same insane bias and underlying agenda.

Henry Rollins: There's a great possibility I am somewhat infected. And I would never assume to be so important than anyone should stop what they're doing and listen to me. I do think I tell a pretty good story. Past that, your point is absolutely valid as far as could I be as corrupt as anyone I say I am against. Absolutely. But money or fame or an agenda are really not part of my agenda.

Freedom of speech and expression is what I'm after.

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Silver Spring, Md.: I just started reading "Devil's Knot : The True Story of the West Memphis Three" by Mara Leveritt. Are you still involved with the defendants? Has any progress been made in freeing the boys or obtaining retrials?

Henry Rollins: Yes, I'm still involved. There was today an alarming news byte where state governor Huckabee (of Arkansas) says in his opinion there has been no new info brought to light that would make the case in any way compelling to be retried. In light of the fact that DNA evidence from the crime scene was processed and from what I know the results are waiting to be analyzed, I don't know how he can say that. Those who find themselves interested in this case can go to the WM3.org Web site. Or read Mara Leveritt's very fine book.

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McLean, Va.: Henry,

I have seen several of your spoken word shows and really enjoy hearing about your travel adventures (I cannot enter an airport without thinking of your "standing in line" rant). What are your top three favorite places to visit and why?

Henry Rollins: Afghanistan, because while dangerous it is unbelievably fascinating to me -- historically and geographically. I have been there twice with the military via a USO tour, but given the opportunity, would love to stay for an extended period to learn more.

Parts of Africa I have visited have made me very curious and inspired and made me want to explore more.

The other very interesting place: Russia, where I visited five times and find the people, culture and history fascinating.

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Los Angeles, Calif.: While in Iraq did you perform classic Black Flag songs such as "Revenge," "No Values," and "Damaged"? And do you think you might become the next Bob Hope?

Henry Rollins: On USO tours I go on my own in what is called a handshake tour. Much like what Brad Pitt and George Clooney do -- you hang out, tell stories, crack them up, etc. No music has been performed as of yet.

As far as being the next Hope, we'll leave that to Wayne Newton's very capable dyed black coif.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Because you have been doing your spoken word tours for so long,you've covered numerous topics. Is there anything you regret saying or any major ideas or beliefs that you have completely changed on?

Henry Rollins: No. Not as far as spoken word. As far as life experience, the more laps you take around the track, hopefully your mind changes as you go. As a young man, I had a fairly narrow scope -- which is one of the great things of youth. As a middle aged man, I see a slightly bigger picture.

And those changes have always been aired on stage.

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New York, N.Y.: Henry,

In light of his recent passing, I was wondering if you could comment on Richard Pryor's standup and how it has perhaps influenced what you've tried to do with your spoken word shows.

Henry Rollins: There can't be enough accolades laid on Pryor as far as his bravery and what he did for the genre of comedy. As a young person, I remember those early records and he perhaps helped white America understand black America through comedy better than a lot of other attempts to bring Americans together.

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Henry Rollins: His bravery is not lost upon me.

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USO Shows: Are you allowed to say what you want on your USO shows, or do they ask that you keep your political (e.g. anti-war) views quiet? I hope the troops out there understand how many people are like us: supporting the troops and hating the politicians who put them in harm's way.

Henry Rollins: Great question. Believe it or not, never once have I been told to cool it or to not say exactly what I want. And I have. I also go out of my way to let these brave men and women know that no matter who Americans voted for, about 99.999 percent of America supports the troops. That no matter what an American's take on the war is, support for their safe arrival back home is absolute.

What is distressing is how many soldiers did not understand that and think they are hated at home.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Hi Henry,

What kind of music have you been listening to lately? How do you usually come across new music?

Henry Rollins: The first half of the question is way too broad. I like what I like and that seems to take in every genre of music I can think of -- even country western and techno -- where I'm not all that conversant.

How do I get music? Curiosity makes me buy CDs by the pound. Recommendations from people and things people very graciously send me. Basically, I am open to anything where the musicians have given their all to the piece.

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Sterling, Va.: Hi Henry,

Just got through reading Fanatic! and am psyched to hear that Harmony in my Head is back on the air. For those of us poor working stiffs on the East Coast who can't listen to the show live, are there any plans to archive the new shows so we can listen to them later? (The last one I can find online is Nov. 2004)

Really enjoyed the Birchmere show last fall, and look forward to seeing you again when you're next in town.

Henry Rollins: Yes. At http://www.rollins-archive.com/, started by a fan, she archives every show -- including last night's and you sleepy people can download the music.

Also, those who are curious, please go check out harmonyinmyhead.com for annotated notes of the songs and streaming information. I get letters from people all over the world who listen to the show.

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Washington, D.C.: I have been a big fan of yours for years -- I saw you with Black Flag, saw you again with the Henry Rollins Band (it was heaven seeing you and the Butthole Surfers back-to-back on the original Lollapalooza tour!), and have managed to catch a few of your spoken-word shows as well. I would like to know what inspired your move into the realm of spoken-word performance -- was it something that was always there inside you or did you have any sudden inspiration or "aha!" moment?

Henry Rollins: As a young person, there was always a premium put on being able to tell a great story. Amongst my friends being able to imitate everyone else and crack everyone up put you high up on the teen food chain. Of course, this is not unique, but I never lost my love of storytelling, imitating others, etc.

As a scrawny, Ritalin-addled youth in HS, which was all boys, I learned to stave off the beating, by making the gorilla laugh before geometry class. Hence, the opportunity to go on stage without a band, tell stories and express attitude, was extremely attractive to me when first offered in 1983.

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Aldie, Va.: Henry, in all your shows, books, music, you act like an angry guy and don't hesitate to say you are one. But you seem like such a nice guy, and would be willing to help anyone if you could. How do you reconcile the two personalities?

Henry Rollins: I don't think being helpful or nice doesn't allow you to be really pissed off. My anger is mostly a civically oriented one. I am tired of the little guy getting bullied by the rich, the mean and the opportunistic. This sentiment, of course, is not unique, so... anger is good when directed in a positive way and so, yes, on occasion I am a pretty nice guy, but I hold my anger in high regard. If it ever goes away I will know I have lost the plot.

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Ectomel, IA: Hi Henry. We share a common favorite band; Black Sabbath circa 1974. (How incredibly cool was it to be a supporting player in the genesis of that reunion?!)

I know you have been on close terms with Sharon and Ozzy, so what I wanna know is this; I have always read between the lines of Ozzy's seeming addle-headedness and thought that he was actually pretty smart and damned funny, too. What's your take? Is the Ozzy that you see on TV what you get, or is he crazy like a fox?

Henry Rollins: First question about how cool was it? Are you kidding?! It was very cool to be with Black Sabbath for their reunion shows in Birmingham, England.

As far as Ozzy. He is easily one of the most what you see is what you get people I've met. He's not putting on an act. Ozzy is Ozzy 24 hours a day. He is extremely childlike in that he has not lost his enthusiasm for music and life and he is tremendously big-hearted, which adds to his appeal to me and lots of other people.

Hence, his seemingly endless appeal decade after decade.

So, no, I don't think he's putting on an act.

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York, Pa.: Do you feel let down by the apathy displayed by the younger generation in the face of war, America's ever declining worldwide reputation and heightening governmental invasion of privacy?

Henry Rollins: Those are three different topics.

Apathy. I think we are curing that problem. I think our newest crop of teenagers may be the most energized and politically aware young people we've had for quite some time. And that is why I am optimistic for the future of America.

America's reputation. President Bush has set America, in my opinion, on a very dangerous course. We are drawing lines in the sand and appearing as bullies in places where people will push back. Everyone knows this. The only thing that lifts my spirits in this depressing situation is our young people and their desire to turn things around and seek a better, peaceful and more rockin' situation.

Privacy. Good question. I don't know exactly where I sit on that, being someone with nothing to hide. If national security is at stake, I think extraordinary measures must be employed. What bugs me about Bush and his wiretaps is that he could have done it legally and chose not to.

Any of those wiretaps he sought, he could've gotten those warrants perhaps overnight, but his administration's arrogance and seeming attitude of "the rules do not apply" makes me pretty angry.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Henry-

You always thank Mitch Bury of Adams, Mass., on your liner notes. I used to live in Adams, Mass. Who is he? I always thought he was a voice coach to help you with your singing, but I know there has to be a better story. So what is it?

Henry Rollins: Mitch Bury was Black Flag's road manager and very close friend of the band and myself. His family still lives on Crandall Street and I've just had a long friendship with Mitch Bury and to this day still see him, keep in contact with him and keep up my tradition of thanking Mitch Bury from Adams, Mass., on everything I put out.

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Washington, D.C.: I'm in my early 30s and I'm pretty angry too. Do you think it has more to do with your personal make up or do you think it has to do with this issues of today? If it's the later, has your angry grown worse or stayed the same?

Henry Rollins: I think in my case at least it is a combination of both. I was an angry kid, an angry adolescent and am now an angry adult. Many factors have probably been a part of this. Washington, D.C., was an intense place to be young person in the '70s and '80s. As a child in the '60s, watching the riots, it had a profound effect on me. In my opinion, to be a conscientious American, you should be pretty damn angry.

Until things are perfect, we need to keep working. Anger and dissatisfaction are great fuel for change and betterment.

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Henry Rollins: Yes, and my anger grows daily.

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Anonymous: Since the White House staff is known to read these discussions, what would be your reaction should the Defense Department decide not to invite you back on another tour?

Henry Rollins: That would be sad and patently un-American.

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Kensington, Md.: I saw you doing a MTV video countdown years back and when you had to introduce a video from U2, you rolled your eyes in apparent sarcasm as you talked about the band. As a U2 fan, I always thought that was hilarious. Did you just never get them or their music?

Henry Rollins: While I applaud Bono's humanitarian efforts with great admiration, I think the music is for those who have lost their will to rock.

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Arlington, Tex.: Henry, enjoyed watching you speak when you came through Texas.

Do you think invention of online music stores is good for the artists?

I think you should look into using the Internet to get your masses more talking shows. It would remove any middle men that want to get in the way. The Pearl Jam guys have devised a great system to get bootleg music to their fans. Check it out.

Henry Rollins: I think the Internet has been great for musicians as far as bringing people to their music cheaply and efficiently. Hopefully, getting people who would would have never heard the music to hear it... which is what music is all about. Music wants to be heard. I do have a whole line of CDs that I sell from my Web site that never go to retail, which are extremely cheap and $1 from each sale goes to different charities.

So, dear writer, I do check it out and I thank you.

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Washington, D.C.: Henry-

Do you keep up at all with the DC music scene? Have you heard our radio lately? It's horrible....

What cities have the best radio for progressive/alternative rock that you've heard, and do any of those stations stream online??

Henry Rollins: Okay. Yes, I keep up with the local DC music scene as best I can. Being a semi-frequent visitor to my beloved hometown, I go to as many gigs as I can. I will confess I do not listen to much radio, preferring my own record collection to that of a radio station. All I know is the music's always good on my show and the station I'm on does stream -- Indie 103.1.

As to what any other station is doing, I'm unaware.

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Crete, Ill.: Henry, how did the idea come together for your film critiquing show on IFC?

Henry Rollins: The idea was that of Swift River Productions. Although they will not admit it, I know I was not their first choice. They came to me and pitched what basically became the show, since I love film, have an opinion on why I like and dislike them, and have done quite a bit of acting in film, they thought this might be interesting to me. It was, we made a pilot, IFC liked it, we made a season, they asked for another season, which we're already in pre-production on now.

And so far it has been really great. The name of the show has changed from "Henry's Film Corner" to the "Henry Rollins Show" and will now be weekly instead of monthly. There will be live music, some of the acts like Sleater-Keaney and John Doe, they're performances already in the can. Slayer and other acts are imminent.

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Henry Rollins: I can't thank you enough for all of your questions, your enthusiasm, your interest. It may sound cheesy, but I mean every word of that.

Also, being stranded out here in LA, it is very nice to see the names of the towns these letters are coming from (Arlington, etc.), cuz I really miss that part of the world every day I'm not there.

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UPDATED 1.12.06

Herndon, Va.: Your "Tom Waits Story" remains one of my most prized MP3's of all time. It's truly one of the funniest and best told stories I've ever heard. My Question is have you ever considered re-labelling what you do and using the More accessible term "stand up comedy" rather than the off-putting (to some anyway) "spoken word"?

Hnery Rollins: I have never liked that term either. I sure didn't come up with it! If I saw "An evening of spoken word with . . ." on a flyer I would run the other way in fear of being bored to death. That being said, I admire stand-up comedy and am a fan of the good ones but wouldn't want to have to make people laugh all the time. There's some stuff that's just not funny and I want to address that stuff without having to make light of it. Also, that circuit seems pretty intense in a way that's unappealing to me. Even a guy like George Carlin who's a pal and someone I greatly admire, must feel some pressure to keep the laughs going. I don't think I would fare well in that environment.

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Los Angeles, Calif.: Do you think soldiers might be mistaken about America's support for the troops as a result of broadcasters such as Rush Limbaugh, who equate any dissent with treason and loathing for our soldiers? Where else would they get that wrong impression?

Henry Rollins: I definitely think that sentiment is propagated by those who are for one reason or another, in favor of what's happening in Iraq. I don't know how much of America is swayed by radio and television pundits and their opinions. I think the Bush Administration has done a lot of work, with evident success, to weld 9/11 to Iraq, Osama to Saddam, the response to the September attacks to preemptively strike Baghdad. If you don't diligently follow the spin and look at the real information, you could think anyone critical of the efforts in Iraq to be a negative influence. I am not saying though, that the TV/Radio right don't have an effect. They do. Your Hannity's are very forceful and their narrowness of scope often works to their advantage in attacking large topics. If you can fit it on a bumper sticker, it's not a reason to go to war. Novak left CNN and went to Fox! What a surprise!

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Detroit, Mich.: I'm watching the Supreme Court nominations, while reading this online interview/blog -- and a question came to mind. Do you feel that the administration, as a whole, has done so much damage that it cannot be undone, or do you believe with a shift in power and a change in those who have it will lead to an eventual rebirth in American politics in which people, again, have a voice in their own government. And I commend you on your work with the USO. You're doing the individuals and the country a great service.

Henry Rollins: Only my opinion here but I think the Bush Administration has put us on an aggressive and dangerous course in South and Central America and the Middle East and parts of Asia most certainly. To me, they demonstrate the actions of men who have not been in many or any fights. They either don't understand or seem to care that there's always someone who will hit back or at least take their best shot at whom they consider to be the schoolyard bully. I'm not saying we should hug a terrorist today but we should definitely do something in an attempt to understand where all this anger comes from and go to that as one of our measures against further terrorist attacks. It's hard enough fighting an enemy that doesn't mind dying. I am however, hopeful. My hope comes from all the young people I meet. The level headed, energized people I meet who really want to address the hard questions and do something. I think we are headed for a dramatic and historic turning of the tide in our life time. That is to say, something's gonna give.

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Portland Ore.: Henry, I've been a fan of yours since about 1991 when your spoken word helped me get through boarding school and broke me of my angst. I no longer blamed other people for my problems and looked toward myself. I can tell that the problems in this world bug you. They bug me too. Every time you come to Portland, inevitably someone yells that you should run for president. My question is this: Why don't you run for an elected office? You're intelligent, you relate to people and you kick ass. Isn't it time that you step up and live to YOUR full potential? I think Washington could use a little more punk rock than just the 9:30 club.

Henry Rollins: Damn do I love your city. I had a great time there the other night. I appreciate your confidence. I am however in no way cut out for office. I am of highschool education and I don't think I could do anyone any favors in that arena. Also, I really think I get some good things done being on the street and on the move. I think there's a lot more latitude out here than in an elected office. As far as living up to my potential, well, I'm not sleeping on that front, I assure you. Thanks.

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McLean, Va.: I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your work with the USO and your efforts to bridge the gap of misunderstanding that has been created (and exploited) regarding the difference between supporting the troops and supporting the war. I have had numerous "discussions" with people who, because of my open opposition to the war and to the Bush administration, have accused me of not supporting the troops and even of being a traitor to my country. These discussions often end soon after I inform them that I served for four years with the U.S. Army Special Forces. While it is handy to have this trump card available, it saddens and angers me that it is even necessary to play it. I served and fought for freedom of expression, freedom of thought, freedom of association, and the freedom to dissent -- much of what you seem to be fighting for in your way. I think you are doing an excellent job and I wish more power to you.

Henry Rollins: Thank you and thank you for your service. Yeah, it's too bad you have to pull out your SF card. To me, being a traitor is having a party and cracking open the champagne whenever there's U.S. fatalities or blowing up something here at home. I don't know anyone who is remotely like that. Quite the opposite. When we lost that Black Hawk the other day, it's a year ruiner as far as I'm concerned. As far as being critical of an Administration, someone better be, even the ones who voted it into office. How else will we learn, be safe, not repeat mistakes, etc. Again, thank you.

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California: Would you describe Bukowski as a Slurred Word Artist? Also, if anger is properly channeled, such as in your case, is it still anger, or something else?

Henry Rollins: Those Bukowski books were fun to read when I was in my 20's. A great ride. Good question about the anger. It is perhaps something else, an awareness, a catalyst. All I know is, when everything seems to be going well, it feels like a scam!

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Washington, D.C.: Henry, I have long been a fan of yours, and you have certainly inspired me to be the independent person I am. Unfortunately life does not always allow this luxury. How do you cope with situations where individuality is not easily welcomed, i.e. politically or socially?

Henry Rollins: I guess it is a luxury come to think of it. When I encounter a confrontational situation, I usually run right at it. Where are you living? China, Arkansas?

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Rockville, Md.: Hi Henry -- why everytime I see you do you have a black shirt? How many of those you own?

Henry Rollins: I wear a black one onstage because it hides the sweat but most of the time I wear a gray t shirt. It matches my hair. It's my way of going with it.

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Santa Fe, N.M.: A case can be made that the Beatles played a major role in the fall of the Soviet bloc, do you think this a true and if so do you feel that any of today's music could cause change in the Middle East?

Henry Rollins: A case can be made that adult diapers played a major role in the fall of the Soviet bloc. I don't think it was the Beatles. I like that idea though. I think it was a lot of people wanting what their neighbors in the West have had for so long and all the stuff that comes with it. Mafia, corruption, MTV, all the good stuff. I have always maintained that if we dropped tons of Ramones CDs on Israel and Palastine perhaps we could get somewhere. I am more than willing to use music to cool out the Middle East. Let's send in George Clinton and the P-Funk Allstars as the first wave, wait for the smoke to clear and then we come over the hill with Sabbath. Or, you could assault them with Britney Spears and they might just freak out and lose it completely. Honestly, I don't think music can do much to change anything. If it could, then it would have happened with all those great Dylan and Marley songs.

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Detroit, Mich.: As many others, Black Flag made some of the most powerful music I ever listened to. Are you still at all in touch with Greg Ginn?

Henry Rollins: I saw Greg in 1989. I guess that's a long time ago. He wrote some of the best songs I have ever heard. I don't really know what he's up to now.

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Washington, D.C.: What was it like being interviwed by Stacy Peralta for the Dogtown documentary?

Henry Rollins: That was an all time great experience. I had not seen him in a long time and it was so cool to have him over at my office. He's a 100 percent great guy and someone I have admired since I was a teenager. I think I met him in the late 70's the first time and over the years would run into him here and there. It was great to be part of that documentary. Ian MacKaye and I got a credit on the film as contributors of some of the Jay Adams footage you see in Dogtown as we shot that stuff on my Super-8 camera many years ago.

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Washington, D.C.: I know that there are some books describing your role in the history of the D.C. Punk scene, but have you written your own memoirs of those days?

Henry Rollins: I have written about some of those times here and there in books I have done but not in one concentrated effort. I have taken a lot of notes, trying to remember everything I could as those were some of the best times I have ever had. I still remember those days with a great deal of fondness.

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Anonymous: Is there a release date for "Feast"?

Henry Rollins: Quite honestly, I have no idea. After I am done with a film, I never look back. I am only there for the work. What happens to it after I'm done is not really all that Important to me as there's nothing I can do about it and usually I am of such low level in a film, no one tells me anything. I don't get invited to the premier most of the time.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Henry, do you still skate?

Henry Rollins: No. I wish I had the knees left to but I don't.

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Washington, D.C.: Henry, Thanks for doing this chat. These are always a lot of fun and they get me through the work day. I read somewhere that you were in that terrible movie, St. Elmo's Fire, as a guy behind the counter at Haagen Daaz. Is this at all true? Were you simply behind the counter as they were filming? Is this a complete figment of my imagination?

Henry Rollins: Thanks. No. I was never in that film. You have a vivid imagination though. Had they asked me to be in it, I would have done it. I am always seeking gainful employment.

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Northern Virginia: During your lifetime technology and the Internet have changed radically in ways that impact all of the work you've done (music, writing, movies). Having heard Ian on a roundtable discussion last year, I'm curious to hear what your feelings are about music piracy and the like. Also, have you noticed these things have taken a bite out of your income stream? Also, do you have an iPod (or similar device)? If yes, what's on it?

Henry Rollins: I do not lose any sleep about anyone downloading anything I have done. I am told by young people that they download my talking records for free all the time. They sometimes apologize and ask if I am going to attack them. I always say to them what I will say to you: There have always been mechanisms in place to keep the artist from his or her pay. Be it the club owner, agent, manager or record company. Now, it's the fans too. Why should they be left out?! The bottom line is, I would rather be heard than paid and no, I willl not chase you down the street for my 35 cents. Unfortunately, some of the records that people download of mine have part of the money made going to charities so in a way, they're working negatively against some organizations they would probably really dig. And, I'm not the only one in the band so they are also taking from others, some of them with kids. As far as what money all that takes from me, I don't make much money from records and I don't really check to see what I make on them and I am certainly not going to go after someone for a few bucks. I would have loved to have heard what Ian had to say about all that. He always has an interesting take on things. I have three ipods for different places and they are full of all kinds of music. I have the 60 gig ones so I can take a lot of music out with me on the road. They are a great thing.

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Washington, D.C.: Henry, I love your writing and spoken word work. How much time on average do you spend every day writing?

Henry Rollins: Thanks. It depends on what I am doing. If I am doing a movie or TV thing, not much as the 12-14 hour day will be enough to drop me. The USO tours are hard to write on because of the exhaustion factor at the end of the day. On a good day, up to 8+ hours on and off. Most of the time, at least three. There are days at a time when I don't get anything done because of obligations and schedules. I have been writing a lot lately. More than usual.

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Sterling, Va.: Henry, I recently read Roomanitarian and loved it. Do you plan on appearing in more films this year?

Henry Rollins: You liked that book?! What are ya, a nut?! Thanks. I have no film plans for this year so far but something might come up in the summer as I will be in LA a lot working on stuff. It's not anything I persue all that hard. There are two films that I was in that are to come out at some point this year. Feast and Alibi.

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UPDATED 1.12.06 p.m.

Bethesda, Md.: Hi Henry, I was wonder if you have noticed any differences in either the troops you see or the condition of the Iraq people and country in your multiple visits. Do you think it's getting worse or better? Certainly it has to be tough on the many troops who are doing their second on even third tours of Iraq.

Henry Rollins: I have only been to Iraq once. I have been to Afghanistan and Kyrgyzstan twice so far. When I was in Iraq, I met people who were two months in country and 14 months in country. The year-plus ones were the ones Rumsfeld held back for an unspecified period. They were angry. A lot of them had children they had not met yet. The ones who were in a couple of months were very focused and wired. I know at this point, there are people going into their third rotation there. I don't know what their morale will be like. Probably good. These are highly trained, highly motivated people. I am continually amazed at how great the troops are. It's very inspiring to be around them. As far as Iraq, I was told, when I was there at least, that there's more electricity in a lot of regions than ever before. That was the only progress report I was told about. That being said. I have seen a lot of reports that say exactly the opposite of what I was told so I don't know the answer to that one. Some parts of Iraq I saw were beautiful. I hope the place comes back all the way.

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Bethesda, Md.: Henry I read somewhere that you attended Bullis HS and a teacher there was very instrumental in your decision to pursue an artistic career. Can you tell us about that? My kids attend Bullis and love it, but I wonder why I haven't heard your name mentioned there. Have they ever asked you back for anything?

Henry Rollins: I did go there. I had an English teacher who was very cool to me. I would write stories about blowing the school up and burning it to the ground and give them to him and he would help me with the sentences but told me to never show them to others. He said creative writing was good. I was very frustrated in that place. A good school but I didn't have a good time. I was asked many times to come on campus and speak over the years. I always politely declined and some years ago, they got the message. I have never been back since the day I graduated in 1834. It was a long time ago.

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Washington, D.C.: So now that you are a big time Hollywood guy, when are they going to make you a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador?

Henry Rollins: As soon as I get a show on Scare America the home of Aggressive Talk Radio.

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KC: Have you read any good books lately?

Henry Rollins: I really learned a lot from Ahmed Rashid's book "Taliban." I just finished reading Bulgakov's "Master and Margarita" again. Those were great.

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Chicago, Ill.: I was really excited when you started 2.13.61 because it looked like you were going to reissue some old records worth listening to. I got the 30 seconds over DC comp, Trouble Funk live joint, and recently picked up the Negative Trend EP, do you have any other old gems in the works? Also which spoken word CD is your favorite?

Henry Rollins: I have some old stuff lined up but I am still working out the deals on them so it will take a while to get it all together. Best thing to do is check in on the site now and then or get on our mailing list and we'll let you know about releases if you like. 21361.com is the address. A favorite talking record of mine? I don't know. I make them and then make the next one. I don't really think about them as far as favorites.

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Raleigh, N.C.: Hiya Henry! What's your take on the separation of Church and State? Rock on!

Henry Rollins: I hope they stay well away from each other for the sake of all sane people in America.

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Woodbridge, Va.: With the recent revelations of the JT Leroy and James Frey being frauds, do you feel the literary world is fast becoming like the art world of the 1980's? Do people prefer entertainment to the truth? Or are JT Leroy and Mr. Frey using the tools of the culture against its ambassadors (Oprah, noted journalists, magazines, celebrity friends, etc...)? Consumer culture will purchase their products regardless.

Henry Rollins: If James Frey, a former drug addict made up some things in his book, anyone who would be surprised should maybe get a reality check. As far as books like that, if you liked it, got something from it, who cares if it's true? If you have to watch Oprah Winfrey to get your reading list, you deserve any literary hardships that come your way. A lot of people prefer fantasy to the truth. Wait until the upcoming State of the Union Address!

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Do you believe Nick Zedd's work has proved influential to your own? And if so, in what way? Do you plan any co-projects with Zedd. Additionally I was surprised to hear that you were on the Stern show. How was that and what precipitated your appearance?

Henry Rollins: Nick is great but quite honestly, the only thing I have ever gotten through was his book. I have never been able to hang all the way through the films. I tried but couldn't do it. So, I don't think there's been any influence and I certainly have no plans to do anything with him. I have been on Stern's show twice and always found him to be alright to me. They asked and I went. I'd go again. I don't mind Howard. His thing with women at first bugged me but now I see he's just infantile on that front and not misogynistic. I didn't get that at first. I think he'd be the first to admit that. I like the guy.

Give thanks

2005-09-02T02:36:00.000-04:00

I think we all kind of take for granted what we have every day. We'd all be better off pouring that time and energy that we spend worrying about useless things into trying to help other people.

It hit me the other day when I was at work and I had a phone conversation with my sister in Philly. We were talking about the hurricane disaster. She said, "So, if the whole place is flooded, what about the alligators? And the snakes and the bugs? Are they just swimming around now?"

And I said, "Hmm...didn't think of that. Probably."

"And what about all the cemeteries? They're probably all under water now too, right?"

"Er...yeah. Likely."

And we got to talking about just how horrible it had to be to have a developed area be not only destroyed, but under-freaking-water. The Florida coast, the NC coast, all those hurricane-hit areas get devastated, but they can pick up and rebuild. Can't likely do that when your land is under 30 feet of water.

2005-07-18T16:18:00.000-04:00

There's a certain beauty and comfort in the sameness of all airports.

I was talking to a guy I work with who wants me to pick him up at the airport in Raleigh when we go to RTP on a site visit. It got me to trying to remember what RDU looked like, and where the hourly parking was. I'm not really worried about it, because all airports are basically the same. I had never driven to or around the Atlanta airport, and yet I easily picked up Craig from there a few weeks ago. You follow the directional signs to the place you want to end up, and there you are. Most airports are even remarkably well-signed. It's "Travelling for Dummies." (Most of the time that's too true.)

At the same time, it shows a remarkable lack of invention. But maybe mass transit is one place you don't want to adopt too much innovation at once.

2005-06-21T20:41:00.000-04:00

Atlanta

Well, I've still found no reason to like Atlanta.
To be fair, I'm actually in Peachtree City for training. But my drive through the city was less than stellar. I was on track to make it here in a little over 4 hours when I hit a traffic jam downtown.
Make that 6 hours to get here.

More later.

2005-06-14T23:42:00.000-04:00

I went to Showmars to pick up some lunch the other day. There was a lucite collection box on the counter next to the register. It said that an employee there and his wife were expecting their baby July 15th, but the baby was born June 11th, and passed. They were taking up a collection to pay for the hospital bills.

It struck me as so, so sad that I almost cried right there. Can you imagine the pain, the horror, of waiting so long for that little tiny life inside you to arrive and to be with you and a part of your family? Making happy preparations, setting up a nursery, buying baby clothes, well-wishes from family and friends... And then having all that destroyed so quickly? And THEN still having to pay for the hospital bills. No small bundle of joy to bring home from the hospital. Nothing but hurt and tears and stitches and scars. And then not having enough money to pay for all that pain.

I gave them $1.11, because that's all I had left.

2005-06-09T23:45:00.000-04:00

Things I hate about people # 42+E(8):

People who wear flip-flops as shoes on the way to work.

People who can't pick up their feet while they're walking to work wearing flip-flops.
All the way to work they walk behind me... Half a mile of --scutch--scutch--scutch--scutch--

People who think they're better than everyone else. (Ironically enough.)

I realized yesterday I don't actually hate people as much as I purport. The weird thing was how this occurred to me. I was watching people walking in front of me as I was going back to work with my lunch food. People of all shapes and sizes. Women, men. Nice looking casual-business friendly people. No one that was annoying or snooty or stupid. General, unassuming public. It was actually kind of nice. And I realized that's the majority of the people I encounter every day. And then I happened to notice the panty lines on a woman who was sort of middle-age-ish, but not unattractive. And I realized, I like the kind of women who bother to wear underwear, especially the kind of underwear that they could care less if everyone sees them, and not because they're particularly sexy. My mother used to say, "They're clean and they're paid for." That's about all that matters.

Then I got to thinking what should bother people and what shouldn't, and what you should care about other people thinking about you, and what just doesn't matter.

Things I can't stand that people do:
putting on makeup/brushing hair in public
looking at themselves in every reflective surface they pass
complaining about their food in restaurants (especially when it's excessive)
rudeness to service-people
nearly running over people crossing the street
stealing parking spaces
cutting people off in traffic
vandalism in all forms, even as little as picking at corners of signs
littering anywhere
smoking with no regard for others

Things that are important to me, or actions that I like when I see them:
most are personality/character traits (blah, blah, blah)
manners
positive dispositions
emotional strength (but not too stoic)
kindness to animals
overtipping servers
holding doors
giving up seats to women or old people
letting the women off the elevator first
pulling the car to the side of the road for a funeral procession
smiling at strangers
saying "thank you" to bus drivers
letting cars into traffic

Also, I was in the "mall" area of my work building today, and there was a boy who was separated from his parents. He was walking around sort of whimpering the way kids do when they feel like they may be lost. In front of me was a young business man, who if you didn't know any better you would think wouldn't care about what was going on in front of him. But as he was passing he slowed down to watch, and took an interest in seeing what was going on with that scared little kid. When he finally saw the kid's dad come out of the store and bring him back in, he turned around and went on his way. But I was touched by his interest.

Unfortunately though, in this day and age, I was struck by the momentary flash of "pedophile," but I like to think I live in not so nearly a cynical world as all that.

2005-06-07T18:25:00.000-04:00

Bizarro dream du jour...

Craig and I drove up to a strip mall that looked much like the one where I used to work in Raleigh. He got out to go to the grocery store. I got out of the car to wait for him, and I realized that Kevin Smith was filming "Clerks 2" there. Kevin came out of the storefront and I realized I had a question I wanted to ask him. He looked a little different, because he was dressed in his Silent Bob clothes, and he looked like a live version of the Clerks cartoon Silent Bob. I couldn't remember the actual question I was going to ask him, so I went and said hello anyway. Then I told him that Craig and I were really interested in knowing when he was going to film the shots with Jason Lee in them. He pulled a photocopied schedule out of his pocket and looked it over, then showed it to me. On it were a list of cities and dates. He circled a handful of them and said those were the ones. I asked him if I could have a copy, and he said no, he couldn't give it to me; I would just have to remember it. The only cities I remember were a bunch in California, and Toledo OH. I thanked him and went to find Craig.

I don't really remember much else out of that dream except that somewhere in it, Darren Millard tried to get me to cheat on Craig with him, but I wouldn't do it.

2005-06-06T15:00:00.000-04:00

Well, Craig has to work this Friday and Saturday, when his acutal birthday is, so I decided to take him somewhere this weekend.

The only place I could safely do given the time frame was within 5 hours or less, so I picked something like the place I used to live. (At least I'd know where to go and what to do.)

We did get to see things I hadn't before. We went to the NC Museum of Natural Sciences, which I hadn't been to because they completed their renovations in 2000, and I lived in Charlotte by then. We also went to the NC Museum of Art, which I'd been to, but of course there's always new exhibits.

First of all, Hampton Inn (at least the one we stayed in) is now amazingly great for the price. I've never stayed at such a nice place that wasn't an actual HOTEL. They've gotten some kind of new marketing people, so all their items are "styled" and modern. Great amenities, great service, and reasonably priced! Lots of nice little touches, like a lap desk, a microwave, a fridge, hair dryer, iron, good smelling toiletries, big soft pillows, shower curtain that bows out to give you more room in the shower, and a free hot breakfast every morning. I highly recommend them.

We ate at Denny's for breakfast the first day, because we missed the hotel breakfast serving time. So here's some pics I took while I was waiting for our food.

Then we went to the museum. I've never seen a place that uses trompe l'oeil so effectively. (The pictures on their website really don't do it justice...) They have these great rooms that are made to look like various areas of NC, like the coastal plains, and the piedmont forests, and the mountains, complete with stuffed animals and models of plant life. They're really beautiful and amazing and lifelike.

They have some excellent dinosaur skeletons, including this head that you can touch.

There's a pretty solarium that has some giant dino models with fake pterodactyls flying around the ceiling.

Craig loves teh dinos:

They also have this amazing tunnel thing that's made to look like those tubes at the aquarium that you can walk through, and the sharks swim overhead. Except this is filled with FAKE prehistoric creatures, and NO water!!! You'd never know it just to look at it and walk in there. I wish the pictures did it justice.

The last place was the Arthropod Zoo, which is just like what it sounds. I took this one picture for my (little) sister because she loves ladybugs.

And that's about it. I didn't take any pictures at the art museum today, because they don't really let you. But it was really cool to have a different person's perspective on things. Craig pointed out some things he noticed that I never would have on my own. It was tons of fun.

Then we were both exhausted, so we came home. :)

2005-04-15T20:10:00.000-04:00

Tax Day, Shmax Day!
I hate this day. Somehow, though I think of doing my taxes around February, I always leave it until the last minute.
Also, somehow, I never get much money back. But at least that means I'm contributing the "right" amount all year.

2005-04-06T15:58:00.000-04:00

Amazing how I just let months go by without consequence...

Well, I'm engaged to Craig, and I couldn't be happier!
We just spent the past week and a half on the whirlwind Kevin Smith tour of the country.
The proposal happened at Vulgarthon '05, in Hollywood, in front of around 900 people including a panel of celebrities. (Ben Affleck gives the nicest hugs!)
Don't believe me? Check out the pictures courtesy of WireImage!
I have the most beautiful ring, the most wonderful man, the blessing of my parents and the excitement of my sisters. What more could I ask for?
We met dozens of people who bent over backwards to be nice to us. We went to Red Bank this past weekend for Kevin's 7 hour q&a session, and got what we're calling "our engagement photo" with him.

2005-03-01T21:30:00.000-05:00

Trip notes:
My bottled water on the airplane yesterday had the expiration date: JAN3006
I thought that was awfully optimistic of them, until I realized it meant Jan 30th, 2006. :oops:

I used gmail to forward an email to Sandy about a Guinness event. The subject line said "Guinness." I didn't finish so I saved it as a draft. The end result sitting in my inbox: Guinness(draft)

One guy here looks a lot like an older Horatio Sanz. Doesn't talk like him at all though.

I like these guys. They're very...real.

This morning, when I got out of the shower, I noticed someone had written "I LOVE YOU" in a big steamy heart on the mirror. I will double check the text tomorrow morning, because I think there may have been more...

It made me happy and sad all at the same time.

2005-02-28T21:45:00.000-05:00

4:00 am... God, I didn't want to get out of bed in the dark! Shower, woke up Craig so he could go get his car... 30 degrees and raining.

5:30 am... Kissed Craig good bye at the security line. The Latinas behind us thought we were cute, and were giggling at us.

6:30 am... Flew to Atlanta. Made sure to take Dramamine before takeoff. Good thing, too.

8:00 am... What a miserable little airport Atlanta has. Dingy. Crowded. Concourses are too long and organized terribly. As if I didn't already have too long a layover, flight was delayed about an hour. This situation sucked, but it's not as horrible as the last time I got stuck in ATL!

Got on one of those little commuter shuttle planes where you actually walk out onto the tarmac and up the stairs. Two aisles of two seats each. I was in 12A, and that's the penultimate row. Which means there was a thirteenth row on this plane.

Blessedly, the flight was smooth. Very very minor turbulence. Didn't even make me nervous.

12:30 am... Landed in Melbourne, FL. Florida looks really pretty from the air. Very marshy. The beaches, though tiny from that altitude, looked lovely and white. I called Tim to come pick me up.

Got out of the plane on the jetway, and smelled the seawater. Melbourne Airport is a shithole. It's under construction, and the atmosphere is tacky in that way that only Florida can be. It also has that smell like an old house basement that's been flooded a few times.

Told Tim I'd be the redhead with glasses, because there's probably not too many of those walking around. He said he'd be in a Ford Taurus. I realized too late that description probably fit all the rental cars at the airport. No matter, he spotted me. We chatted it up, and stopped at a place to buy me a sandwich, because everyone else had gotten lunch, but they didn't know what to get me.

The hoagie place was sort of dismal and bare, but the guy behind the counter was very nice. He said he was still getting used to the heat,and how different this place is in many ways because he was from New York. Brooklyn, to be exact. He said no one's complained about his subs yet, so he hoped I would enjoy it.

Funny, the sign said "Hoagies", yet he called it a "sub." Perhaps it was not his establishment.

1:something ... Met the rest of the IT team. Very informal gathering. Ate and talked, and everyone told me a little about themselves.

It's always interesting to see what "business casual" means to people. Everything from button-downs and khakis, to jeans and a polo shirt. I don't mind being a tiny bit overdressed though. I would always rather be over- than under- dressed.

Very very informal discussions. Got a nice tour of the facility. It's an "o" shaped building, white walls, absolutely nothing remarkable. A lot of development and beta testing goes on here, so it was nice to see what they're using to do that. Lots and lots of server equipment and misc. peripherals.

Lots of grey hair on the techs... ;)

Parosmia and Phantosmia

2005-02-23T16:40:00.002-05:00

If you are looking for the previous post and comments related to the above subject that lived in this location for five years, I've moved it. Please redirect your bookmarks to here:

http://parosmiaandphantosmia.blogspot.com/

Thanks!

2005-02-14T19:45:00.000-05:00

You'll forever be my Valentine

'I used to love you, I love you still, and I'll always love you.'

PETER ST. ONGE
The Charlotte Observer

The trip is usually 10 minutes long, from her driveway to her husband's room. Leroy will be happy to see her, of course, and he might toss a playful jab at her, the way he does with visitors. Lollie will have a gift for him on this Valentine's Day.

They'll spend a couple of hours talking or walking or eating dinner. Margie, his friend, will probably be there, too. Sometimes, Lollie finds them walking together outside, or sitting on a bench holding hands.

Leroy doesn't remember he is married to Lollie. He doesn't remember their moments, their milestones, the arc of a shared life. But Lollie does. All of it.

They met in the fall of 1934, Leroy and Lollie. He was a Duke grad, a former captain of the school boxing team. She was a pretty Charlotte girl at her Methodist church's pool party.

She remembers their first date -- a scary movie on Halloween at the Carolina Theatre. He held her hand. "How does the song go?" she says now, and she hums until she hits the right words. "The moment my heart stood still," she softly sings, then stops. "That's what I felt that night when he held my hand."

She also remembers their courtship, how he'd pick her up for breakfast before work every Monday and place a little ceramic elephant -- their mascot -- on the restaurant table between them. He was that kind of sweet after they were married, too.

They had a son and a daughter, and they saved money when there wasn't a lot to save. They were not an outwardly affectionate pair, but one day, when Lollie picked up Leroy from work, she saw him walking down the stairs, so handsome in his suit. "Isn't he wonderful?" she said to her daughter, Martha, sitting with her in the car. Martha still remembers that.

The kids grew up, and Leroy and Lollie traveled, and they went to church, and she enjoyed a book club. Then, nine years ago, Leroy had a quadruple bypass. He was 83, and the surgery seemed to take something from his mind. Two years later, he was diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer's.

The disease stole the memories he shared with her, then his short-term recall, then finally his ability to be in their house alone. Last summer, the burden was too much for a woman in her 80s. Leroy moved into The Haven, a home in Highland Creek.

She visits him three times a week, usually with Martha, who drives. Leroy doesn't always remember Lollie's name, but he brightens when she walks into a room.

Sometimes, there is a flash of something more, such as the day he looked at her and said: "I used to love you, I love you still, and I'll always love you."

Another day, he said to Lollie, "Hi, you're a nice person," then leaned over to a friend and whispered, "Who is that?"

The friend was Margie, who also has advanced Alzheimer's. She usually is there when Lollie visits. Sometimes, when Lollie is in the room, Margie sits between her and Leroy.

The nurses at the Haven ask Lollie's daughter, Martha, about this. Isn't Lollie jealous? Martha says no, and Lollie shakes her head now. She says she's had Leroy all this time, and she would have him still if his mind were sound. "I'm secure in that," she says. "And I don't want him to be lonely."

And so today, the Valentine's card she has for Leroy won't say nearly as much as the cheerful hello she has for Margie. It's a simple thing, Lollie says, the same as it has been for 70 years. She wants him to be happy. She has their memories. And: "I love him still."

2005-02-10T12:09:00.000-05:00

The most recent word is that I am the primary candidate for that job position I've been agonizing over.

The next step is to the technology training center in Melbourne, FL to meet some of the other people.

I have a feeling it's going to be a test. I hate tests. However, if I get through it, I'm hoping they will tell me right then that I have the job or whatever. I know one of the reasons I'm in the lead is because I'm the most readily available/flexible. There are some advantages to being a single person with no kids. Anyone can have tech knowledge. I'm hoping my superior troubleshooting skills and quick adapatbility will help.

2005-02-07T19:00:00.000-05:00

Such a happy couple are we!

All the pictures from our trip are here in my gallery.
The captions are worth reading, if I do say so myself!

I had the biggest job interview of my life last week.
Pros include a more challenging work experience, advancement, better pay, and moving to a bigger city. I haven't heard anything about it yet, but I come highly recommended by my old boss, Curtiss. And his word is worth a few.

Waiting patiently until then. On the couch, because my back has gone out. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for some muscle relaxants!

2005-01-24T13:13:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm back from Oregon! Craig's family is great (hooray for that) and we had a wonderful time. Pictures to follow.
Craig is also now 9 months in remission. [happy sigh]

This website comes in so handy at my job:
FILExt - The File Extension Source

2005-01-07T16:30:00.000-05:00

If my job would stop screwing with me, perhaps I would have had my promotion by now. Instead, I will screw with them and spend as much time not working as possible.

Which is the policy most normal people have at their jobs.

One more week until Craig and I go to Portland. I've never been to the great northwest. I'm looking forward to meeting Craig's friends and family, and lots of days of bad hair.
I must remember to ask Ross to watch the kitties.

My new laptop (business expense) arrived the day before yesterday. It's schweeet. Time to build more websites.

2004-12-31T17:08:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I let this lapse so long... Well, this being the twilight eve of '04, I had to add something...

So much has happened since July. Anyone who's interested can go to ViewAskew.com and read about my history. Do a search for UV and Craig. ;)

Craig and I will not be doing much tonight. Most likely just our Friday night movie night. Perhaps go out to watch the fireworks at midnight.
Anyway, peace on earth, goodwill to all.

2004-07-23T15:08:00.000-04:00

You know the phenomenon...

You're driving or walking down a narrow pathway, when you see someone coming in the other direction. In between you is some immovable object that will make the path a one-person concourse. You think, "I'm going to meet up with that person RIGHT as we come to the immovable object." And that's what happens every time.

Well, I have this theory that your brain sub-consciously MAKES you meet up with that person right there. The more you think it, the worse it gets. As soon as you have that thought, both of your brains are doing the multi-variable calculus and adjusting pace to MAKE it happen.

In fact, I've been trying out my theory the last couple of days. I've been consciously avoiding thinking about it, except to say "I will NOT meet up with that person there!"

So far, it works.

2004-06-30T10:08:00.000-04:00

Stupid lungs! Stay in my chest, dammit! [cough]

2004-06-28T14:33:00.000-04:00

I wonder if anyone else does this...
I have a tendency to try and find the pattern in seemingly random events or things.
I noticed it when I got on the elevator this morning. The buttons pushed were 4, 8, 16, and 20. Which are all multiples of four. Then I started trying to think of it as powers of two, or adding and subtracting sequences... Then I realized what I was doing and stopped myself because I thought it was a wee bit psycho.

2004-06-26T17:51:00.000-04:00

Notes on the Smiths "Rubber Ring":
The first sample is from a filme of Oscar Wilde's "Importance of Being Earnest". Bizarrely, the second sample is from 1971 LP "Breakthrough: An Amazing Experiment In Electronic Communication With The Dead". This LP was recorded by Latvian psychologist Konstantin Raudive, and is claimed to be voices of the dead recorded in laboratory conditions.

2004-06-22T03:13:00.000-04:00

So I've actually left my apartment a few times since Friday, and I'm on sort of a high...

Last Tuesday at girls night out, we decided that our friend Shelly, who is getting married on the 26th, had not yet done any proper bachelorette things. So we took her out Saturday night.

The evening started at my place because I live uptown, which would mean stumbling distance home for people if necessary. This was the first time I formally had "people" over to my place since I moved in a year and a half ago. Also I had this wonderful new sofa and chair to show off.

So being the good little hostess in the upscale apartment (I was told my place was like the "after" on a home makeover show like Trading Spaces or Queer Eye!) I made some snacks.

I stayed away from the traditional southern 'orderves' like Vienna Sausages and cut up sticky buns with toothpicks in them.

We had vegetable crudite, and party mix, and baked brie en croute, and cheese and crackers. Lovely. Shelly brought a giant jug of pre-mixed margaritas... It was 11 before we left the house. :mrgreen:

So 5 women go wandering the streets of Charlotte. We had agreed not to make Shelly wear the condom veil, or the penis hat, or anything. Maybe if we were still 25. But there's something unseemly about women in their 30's acting that way...

Our first stop was Connolly's, an 'Irish Pub'. (Funny, Uptown Charlotte has 3 Irish pubs, but no Japanese restaurant...) It was dark, hot, crowded and smoky. We had one drink and left.

We went to Time, which was a club none of us had been to before. Two bars and a decent size dance floor, club music, etc. Relatively un-smoky. There's a nice seating lounge area that's all lit up in pastel blue lights. They had one platform with a skimp-ily clad woman dancing on it. And while she was dancing, a man was body-painting her with sky blue paint. In the other corner, a man wearing a hockey mask was carving an ice sculpture with a chainsaw. Later, they set it on fire with kerosene. Note: if you are going to pull this stunt, do it in a more well ventilated area than a club.

Well, we drank a lot, and some of us danced (*not a dancer, but an intense people-watcher!)

I got groped verrry nastily more than once. (I mean full on breast fondling, and all I was trying to do was walk through the crowd to the bathroom! I also got pinched.)

We met up with Dori's new roommate's friend who wanted a ride home.
His name is Alp. Yes, like a mountain. Yes, almost like "Alf" or "Alpo".
This name makes for great fun when you've been drinking.

We left and harrassed many men on the street. Especially if they were alone. One guy showed us his ass. It was great. Really. Beware a band of drunken bachelorettes!

Shelly decided to go stumbling down the street yelling "Pita Pit! Pita Pit!" So we went to the Pita Pit, where Shelly bought everyone food even though it was her night out. I ate falafel.

Some people crave nasty foods when they drink. I crave chick peas. Falafel or hummus will do it for me.

And we went home.

Sunday I didn't even bother to get dressed. I sat on my new couch all day with my laptop and taught myself Flash and Dreamweaver MX to build this guy's website. Made some kick ass, sound-effected, flash navigation buttons. Watched Adult Swim. Ironed some clothes. Went to bed.

So I was in a pretty good mood this morning, when my friend Ross called me.

For the uninitiated, Ross is a former boyfriend who is my best friend now. We met on match.com. He is the reason I moved to Charlotte from Raleigh. We had a very turbulent 3.5 year romantic relationship, during which he repeatedly ripped out my heart and stomped all over it, and I forgave him, and he did it again. And again. The very last time I said "No more" but good thing, because he met someone else anyway. I forgave him for many, many wrongs, and we decided not to throw away a good friendship. We've got almost 7 years behind us now.

So the woman he met at that time, he now lives with, and bought a dog, and a house, and now a car, with. But he has not yet married her. Anyway, despite the fact that I have successfully transferred all those romantic-love feelings into platonic-love feelings, and he lives with this woman and has the dog-house-car, she still doesn't like the fact that he and I are friends. However, she needs to get over it because I come with the Ross package, and she knew that going in.

So ultimately what this results in, is that any time she goes out of town is optimum hang out time with Ross. So this morning he calls me up and says the girlfriend's out of town, do I want to go see Chronicles of Riddick with him, and maybe catch a bite to eat? I say sure, and we agree to meet up that night.

Now, I love their dog Cisco. He is the most beautiful, smartest, sweetest golden retriever on the face of the earth. I love him to death, and the feeling is more than mutual. He dances in circles and cries, and grabs me by the wrist with his mouth to pull me in the house when I come over. How could you not love a creature like that? So Cisco and Aunt Kathy had some playtime tonight, which always leaves me on a super duper high! The unconditional love is the greatest thing in the world...

We went to the Roasting Company for food, which is an excellent place that serves all sorts of preparations of very delicious rotisserie chicken, at a bargain of a price. It's a favorite. Over our dinner of spicy chicken on rice for me, and soft chicken tacos for him, we discussed my weekend. I told how I was secretly flattered by the groping, much like the way I was secretly flattered in Florida by Dori's new boyfriend trying to do it to me all weekend.
(He called her last week by the way, but that's another story.)

He told me about his friend Chris, who used to be the guitarist for the band StretchArmstrong, but he quit the band last month for a woman he met, from NJ, no less. And now he's engaged. [giant eye roll]

I said he knew it was coming, and...so when are YOU getting married, Ross?

He says oh, I don't know...eventually...I still have to buy a ring... But something always comes up, either extra taxes to pay, or something for the house, or the air conditioning in his car just went out.

So we have a great dinner, and go see the movie. We smuggled in our take-away cups from the Roasting Company. Rather, I smuggled them. I hid mine in my purse, and his under the sweater I was carrying. I had some leakage in the purse, and it dribbled on my foot. I think I got my sketchbook wet... Anyway, TRULY enjoyed the movie.

Now, I forgot to mention he bought a car just a week or two ago with the girlfriend, and it's a beautiful, blue, almost new, BMW M3 convertible. I've wanted a convertible almost as long as I've known how to drive. So now, I'm insanely jealous over it. But this was the car we took out for the evening.

Once, we rented a Sebring convertible in San Francisco, and drove it down the Pacific Coast Highway to Del Mar. That was one of the best trips of my life. [sigh]

The murderous injustice of it though, is that the girlfriend told me last week that the $46,000 car they just bought is the same to her as the $20,000 one. She doesn't care really. I say she is not worthy!

Now, Ross is an excellent driver, and I trust him beyond a shadow of a doubt. He used to have 3 Eagle Talons, and one of those I helped him convert into a drag race car. We've been in many a speeding-on-the-highway, or down-the-backroads ride, but I know the whole entire time that he is in control of that vehicle. Once, in one of those Talons, we outran a cop car on I-95 near Quantico at around 2AM. He managed to melt a spark plug in that incident, but we made it to NJ safely, regardless.

So add his daredevil driving to the mix of my already good mood. It's a beautiful night in Charlotte tonight. It was raining all day, but it's trying to clear now. It's sort of cool - 60s anyway. We put the top down and drove back to his place. We're about to pull into his street when I say "No! I want to drive around some more!" So grinning, he said, "OK!" and we went for a spin.

The only drawback to the car right now is that it didn't come with the cd player. It has a...cassette player!!! But he got $300 off for that, so he's going to buy an upgrade soon...

Anyway, he's managed to pull out some old mix cassettes he made back in the early 90's to have something to listen to while driving, in the meantime.

So imagine us, in a beautiful convertible, on a lovely night in Charlotte, with the top down, blasting old Depeche Mode and New Order remixes!

Unfortunately, as 11 pm came on, we figured it was time to go back. Reluctantly I said ok, and we went back. Some more frolicking with my buddy Cisco, and a big hug goodbye, and I was on my way home with a giant stupid grin on my face!

So now it's 2:30am, and as you can see I'm still up. I'm not sure what for, or what all this typing has accomplished. Except that for an extended weekend so simple, it really just revived my spirits so much. I wanted to share it, especially because I've been a pretty grumpy gus of late.

There's nothing like surrounding yourself with those who love you, especially those who don't have to, and love you just because they want to, to pick you back up again.

I'm gonna go try and sleep it off now though.

2004-05-24T10:28:00.000-04:00

Gentlemen:
If you get up to offer a woman on the bus your seat, the rest of us women on the bus will smile and think you're a great guy. Really.

2004-04-05T20:11:00.000-04:00

WHY do all the street crazies talk to me? Always.

I'm minding my own business walking to work. I notice the guy waaay down the block at the corner. It's about 30F out, and he's got
1. A baseball cap
2. A trench coat
3. Calf high socks
4. Sneakers

So at first glance I thought, maybe he's a flasher.

I get to the corner, and I'm looking down the street to the left watching the traffic, when off to my right I hear
"Hi"
then louder
"HI"
so (duh) I turn around.

It's 8:30 in the morning and this guy is TRASHED. He's a pasty white, sorta Irish looking, well-fed kinda guy, wearing glasses, eating a biscuit or something and spitting crumbs out as he's talking. I couldn't really make much out of what he was saying, he was slurring that badly.

But I got as much as "Did you see...adfkoiiichsoinigioo...I picked the color...airiiiingilllmmnopppss... the city painted those...#039980B...do you think...bakdrhioadflakdjg;lakd;ashfaldiccddid..."

The light changed and I said "Ok! Have a nice day!" and went to work.

2004-04-02T11:50:00.000-05:00

Migraine season. ugh.

I'm home from work today because I can't breathe without it hurting my head.

Fortunately I have a whole new forum to keep me happy, because newsaskew.com/forum is now open. The new look is good, but it's still a little slow for the time being...

It already has 1000 registered users???

2004-03-26T21:00:00.000-05:00

Two interesting things to note:

In the "Things You Don't See Every Day" category...
I was walking to work this morning and passing some of the office buildings on Trade Street, when up ahead was a city worker with a leaf blower. Not unusual, even at 8 AM. So I get a little closer and I realize...the leaf-blower person is female. Hmm, now that's a little unusual. So I cross the street and... the leaf-blower lady is a white female. Now that's unusual. Here in Charlotte anyway. WASPy professional white lady land...

The other day I was walking to work, and I was stopped at a corner waiting for the light to change. That's always a good opportunity to watch people on the street. It's either that, or watch the little numbers count down from "40" on the crossing sign. So hurrying down the crosswalk to my right is an older, professional looking gentleman. Probably in his 50's, white hair, neat moustache, nice suit. Not unusual. He comes up to the corner and takes a spot next to me, looking across the street. Suddenly he points at the building across the street and says,

"Oh, yes, I'm going in to YOU."

Needless to say, I let him cross the street ahead of me.

Was he talking to himself? Was he talking to the building? Only he knows for sure...

2004-03-19T15:28:00.000-05:00

Spring! Spring! Spring!
I don't care what the calendar says. It's here today!

2004-03-13T01:01:00.000-05:00

Holy crap I love that Maddox guy! Click on the --> Best Page in the Universe link. Do it now. You know you want to. All the cool people are doing it.

2004-03-13T00:58:00.000-05:00

Goodbye Dave Blood. We hardly knew ye. :(

2004-03-09T22:25:00.000-05:00

Rolled 80K yesterday on my way back from Jersey.
Lots of new pictures will be posted in the album tonight.
Went on the View Askew Kevin Smith Clerks Chasing Amy tour over the weekend.
We were on a mission...

2004-02-26T20:14:00.000-05:00

WTF?
Here today is a reprise of what happened exactly one month ago!

2004-02-21T23:08:00.000-05:00

I feel good.

I went to the doctor the other day for a general checkup, upstairs and down. She said I've lost 7 pounds since last time I was there, which was Jan 8th or so. A little over a month. I'm working out a lot and it's like I forgot how much I missed it. I feel...stronger.

I've spent a lot of time at work lately. Last week I had 14 hours of overtime; this week I only had 10 or so. But I've also started the second job again, so maybe I can pay off some of the debt eventually. Maybe I can buy myself a sofa soon. I've been without anything but the one chair and the floor pillows since Thanksgiving...

2004-02-07T19:16:00.000-05:00

Holy fuck, THIS is what I've been fighting! :

If you suffer with a general social phobia, you will tend to worry about becoming the centre of attention anywhere you find yourself with other people. You will find yourself worrying that everybody is looking at you and noticing what you are doing. You may fear being introduced to other people and may even worry about eating or drinking in public. It may be difficult for you to go into shops or restaurants. You may feel so embarrassed about undressing in public that you can't face going to the beach. It may also be difficult for you to confront your boss or colleagues, even when you really ought to.

Parties are likely to be particularly difficult. Many of us will hesitate slightly before going into a room full of people. If you have a social phobia, you may tend to hover around the entrance or outer rooms - some people believe they are claustrophobic because of these feelings. When you finally get into the room with other people, it may feel as though everybody is looking at you. It can be tempting to use alcohol to help yourself cope, starting to drink before going to a pub or party, so that you can loosen up and relax enough to actually enjoy it.
______________________________________

Up until this very moment when I read that, I thought I WAS claustrophobic... Now I think not so much.

______________________________________

Social phobia, also called social anxiety, is a disorder characterized by overwhelming anxiety and excessive self-consciousness in everyday social situations. People with social phobia have a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being watched and judged by others and of being embarrassed or humiliated by their own actions. Their fear may be so severe that it interferes with work or school - and other ordinary activities. While many people with social phobia recognize that their fear of being around people may be excessive or unreasonable, they are unable to overcome it. They often worry for days or weeks in advance of a dreaded situation.

Social phobia can be limited to only one type of situation - such as a fear of speaking in formal or informal situations, or eating or drinking in front of others - or, in its most severe form, may be so broad that a person experiences symptoms almost anytime they are around other people. Social phobia can be very debilitating - it may even keep people from going to work or school on some days. Many people with this illness have a hard time making and keeping friends.

Physical symptoms often accompany the intense anxiety of social phobia and include blushing, profuse sweating, trembling, and other symptoms of anxiety, including difficulty talking and nausea or other stomach discomfort. These visible symptoms heighten the fear of disapproval and the symptoms themselves can become an additional focus of fear. Fear of symptoms can create a vicious cycle: as people with social phobia worry about experiencing the symptoms, the greater their chances of developing the symptoms.. Social phobia often runs in families and may be accompanied by depression or alcohol dependence.

I've found that I feel less this way when I'm on the anti-depressants, and now I have evidence that this is well-founded. I'm shocked.

And at the same time a little relieved. I was afraid that I was becoming agoraphobic. Maybe it's just intense social anxiety!

My sister knows the extent to which I've worried that I'm becoming a hermit...

I have to F O R C E myself to go out and do things. It's the motivation behind my never wanting to use the phone. I now do most of my shopping on the internet. There are days at the worst of it where I consider calling out "sick" from work because I don't want to have to deal. It's a HUGE accomplishment for me to go pretty much anywhere social where there are going to be people I don't know. Again, I have to really force myself...

2004-02-05T18:17:00.000-05:00

This makes me angry:

2/2/04

Dear Residents,

The Management office would like to make you all aware of a recent incident at (apartment complex). One of our residents was walking toward our building on Oates Street and was robbed at around 8:30 PM on a week night. The aggressor hid between the two (apartment complex management owned) buildings where the resident could not see him. The good news is that the resident was not hurt and the aggressor was caught.

We have assessed the lighting around (apartment complex) and have made a recommendation to the owners to add additional lighting, specifically between the two (apartment complex management owned) buildings. All of the other areas are well lit.

Unfortunately we realize that no matter where we are, we are subject to crime. Because we are concerned about everyone's safety, we believe it is important to notify you of these incidents so you are more sensitive to your surroundings.

As always, we welcome your thoughts and suggestions.

Too little too late. This is especially troubling to me with all the overtime I've been working lately. That very well could have been me. I like to think though that I don't really subject myself to such things by being acutely aware of my surroundings. And for example, I know not to walk on that street on the side where there's that big space between those two buildings for just that reason! I'm also not afraid to run, scream, yell "Fire", or mace someone. But who can say what they would have done in that situation if it were them? You don't really know how you'll react until it happens.

2004-02-03T21:12:00.000-05:00

Sometimes my body tells me what it needs by making me crave something.

Though one time, I had this dream where I went searching on a giant quest for "tocopherol". On and on it went, and I kept trying to find it, and I looked in things to eat and to drink. I even tried to smoke it. But I wasn't happy until I injected a big yellow liquidy dose of it.

What is "tocopherol" you ask? I didn't know either so I looked it up when I woke up.

Tocopherol is Vitamin E.

I got myself some of those gelatin capsules stat.

So back to the cravings. For a long time I totally craved sushi, but more specifically the seaweed rolls with the fish. Not long after that I find out I have an underactive thyroid. What's in seaweed? Iodine. What's iodine for? You get the picture.

Last week I craved orange juice. I was sitting at work, and for about two days, it was all I could think about. I could practically taste it. I figured I was craving the Vitamin C. So since I finally got around to drinking it last week, I feel much better. (Plus, it was absolutely delicious. I love citrus!)

Today I'm craving a margarita. I wonder what that means...

2004-02-01T13:15:00.000-05:00

From the web:

"People are so willing to make themselves unhappy. Americans revel in their victim hood - it's a national pity-party. If you ask someone about their "free-time" they will think of only the small, unscheduled intervals in their day. They mentally convert their pleasurable activities into "obligations" just because they are pre-scheduled time. How lucky they are to have the time to watch their favorite programs, go to a child's meet or game, or take a piano lesson! My glass is half full - why is yours half empty?"

2004-02-01T00:14:00.000-05:00

Wisdom from The Devil's Panties comic woman, Jennie Breeden...

"Well, like there are real monsters out there: kidnappers and killers, but I don't want to believe that they really exist. Nothing bad ever happens to me, so I just stress out over bills and sitcoms. My monsters are my own doubts and fears of the world around me."

"You really need to get laid..."

2004-01-26T00:58:00.000-05:00

It was 60 degrees and sunny the day before. WTF?

And now it's even icy-er and snowier than when I took that picture. It's going to be an exciting walk to work tomorrow!

2004-01-25T14:15:00.000-05:00

Apparently there's some new investigation thing about the death of Princess Diana. That's not so interesting as what "some official" said in the following statement:

“The accident was too violent. The internal injuries she suffered were incompatible with life."

Now think about that for a minute...
The...internal...injuries...she...suffered...were...incompatible...with...life

That is about the weirdest phrasing I've ever heard. That kicks pc-speak's ass. Forget about the vertically challenged and the people with disabilities. This woman suffered injuries that were incompatible with life.

I'm floored.

2004-01-24T00:01:00.000-05:00

Whew, well that post the other day was miserable, wasn't it?

I got nothin' today. Except...

Henry Rollins -- Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004 -- Tremont Music Hall

And my souvenir from last time...

mmm... Henry Pillins...

2004-01-20T22:26:00.000-05:00

Calgon, take me away.

I'm tired of cleaning up cat
a) poop
b) pee
c) puke
d) hair
e) what is THAT thing?

It's probably a good thing I don't have a kid. However, after 5 or 6 years a kid generally learns to clean up its own excretions. (if they're female.)

I'm so exhausted when I get home from work these days. I've had a three day weekend and yet it feels like I never left on Friday. My neck and shoulders and back are one whole sore knot. I would pay for a massage and yet...oh, yeah, I'm working because I don't have the money for that sort of thing!

It's one of those moments where I wish I had someone else living here to do some things.

I come home at 8:30, and cats need to be fed and the litterbox cleaned. Then Cat decides to puke in not one, but FOUR spots on the floor. I heard the heaving begin, and hastily tossed her from the carpeted area she was choosing to the concrete flooring... 860 s.f. in this place, and she wants to pick the 50 square feet in the whole place that has carpet on it to regurgitate stinky tuna flakes.

So now it's 10:30 and I haven't had any supper and all my plans to go downstairs and work out are shot because not only is it so late that I can't work out now or I will be up all night, even if I did, I'm too sore to get a good workout.

Tomorrow is not shaping up to be any better. I will be short another pair of hands (or three) until next week because of some bullshit meeting that requires all the "COM's" to go to Atlanta for three, THREE days. The "genius" of corporate logic escapes me sometimes.

And there's a pile of dishes in the sink, and garbage that needs to be taken out, and recyclables that need...recycling.

I will now be accepting suggestions for vacation locales.

2004-01-17T20:38:00.000-05:00

I had a fire in my toaster oven today.

I was making some toast like any other day, and there was smoke coming out of the toaster oven door, so I looked in and some big blob of something black was smoking on the bottom tray. So before the smoke alarm goes off, I thought I should get that to stop. I decided to pull out the crumb tray, so that thing would stop smoking. But instead the tray got stuck on the heating element, and suddenly, I saw small flames! I panicked for a second, but figured that the tray was metal, and as long as the toast didn't catch fire, it would eventually go out. (I remembered to turn the power off anyway!) It did. I didn't burn the house down.

2004-01-13T22:55:00.000-05:00

Today's exciting variation on the Elevator Odor saga...

COLOGNE MAN
And I hate to say it but 99% of the time he is a non-white man. WUWT?

Today's dumb customer award goes to the woman who told me,
"Whether it's possible or not, put "CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE" on page 27."

What kind of miracles exactly does she think I work?

My brain is very loud lately. Even when I'm concentrating on something, it feels like there's this white noise or chatter going on in the background that's trying to distract me. I'm worried that it's the new antidepressants. Really it's probably just the over-abundant workload I've had, and added stress. But it's what kept me up way late last night, when I was posting things at the Forums 'round 2 am.

2004-01-12T20:03:00.000-05:00

I love my friend Sandy because she has a bumper sticker that says

"If you can't feed em, don't breed em."

2004-01-11T12:54:00.000-05:00

I rolled to 78,500 miles on my car last night. That's 78,000 miles I've driven that car, which is a damn lot of miles. (I'm making an exception of 500 miles for my letting other people drive the car at one time or another.)

I had dinner with Sandy the other night and she asked me what kinds of things I hated and/or though sucked so bad. The first thing that occurred to me is how much of my day I spend either waiting for elevators, or waiting for traffic lights. My apt bldg has only one elevator for the north wing of the building, and it services 9 floors. At the peak hours of the day, (rush hour am and pm), there are obviously a bunch of people trying to use it. Plus I think that it's a dumb elevator, that doesn't really stop in one or the other direction to pick up extra floors when it very well could. I could also use the fire stairs, but 8 flights of stairs is not my idea of fun with my acl knee... Not just yet anyway. Not if I want to get to my destination TODAY.

So when I finally get out of my building in the mornings, and I walk to work, I have to cross Graham St. The problem with the part of Graham at 5th and 6th, is that 5th and 6th are one way streets that go east and west respectively. Some city planner decided that because they were one way streets, they didn't need crossing signals in both directions. I guess also when the traffic signals were put in, they didn't have as much residential there as they do now. Anyway, inevitably, I run the risk of being smooshed because I'm not always sure how much time I have before the light changes. Plus drivers in Charlotte are notorious red-light runners, so while the average driver might not go when the light is green if they see me crossing the road, I run the risk of being hit by the guy racing to make the red light. So, long story long, I try to wait out the lights for the next cycle before crossing the street.

Or if it's raining I say fuck it and take the free circulator bus. But then I don't get my good half-mile walk in.

So if I make it to work without dying (3 or 4 more intersections later. Luckily those have crossing signals) I am confronted with the elevator at work fubar. There are technically 8 elevator bays, but no matter when you arrive in the foyer, or when you leave, only about 3 of them seem to be running. Multiply that by 75 people per floor (I'm being generous) and 24 floors and you end up with a mass of annoyed people waiting for the elevator.

Now that it's winter in Charlotte, and we're starting to have some wintery weather, you will no doubt be stuck in the elevator with one of three types of people (or a combination of all):

1. The person that smells like moth balls because they just took their wool coat out of storage.
2. The chronic sniffler. Are you sick, or is it just because it's cold out. Either way, yuk.
3. A smeller of the "I just got coffee", "I just farted", or "I'm wearing too much perfume to cover up the moth ball smell" variety. Phee-you.

And so eventually I get on the elevator in the morning, with the crowding and the smells, and no doubt there will be 10 people in the elevator all going to 10 SEPARATE floors. I'm on 16 so I usually have to wait a while. And the elevator is going up and stopping at every floor, when all of a sudden it decides to stop on a floor for which no one IN the elevator has pressed the button. For the sake of argument, let's say it's "4". So a person gets on at floor "4", and presses the button for "5".

Come on now people, would it kill you to take the stairs once in a while???

So in one of those true twists of fate that almost never happens to people except me, I tell this story to Sandy at dinner Monday night. Tuesday I run the litany of all the things I just went through, and on my way home and down in the elevator, the elevator stops at "5", and a girl gets on a pushes a button for "4". To the rest of us in the elevator she says,

"I'm sorry, but they won't let us take the stairs!"

I don't know how to feel about that, other than maybe I was being taught a lesson.

I guess what all this means is that the majority of my frustrations for the day happen in the half an hour before work every day. And people wonder why I'm not a morning person.

Of course it happens all over again at 5pm. And people wonder why I'm a hermit.

On the plus side, I get it all over with early in the day, and only for a little while again in the evening. And if those are the worst things that happen to me all day (usually they are not but I digress) then I should consider myself very fortunate indeed.

2004-01-04T01:27:00.000-05:00

Being all bloggy makes me wonder what happened to (evil)Robbie Reaves. It was his fault I stumbled upon Blogger a few odd years ago, back at the old Waterford Lakes address. I was up late one night, and I think I was looking for something about Minor Threat--Out of Step, and the different pressings of it, etc etc, and somehow, somehow I stumbled upon his blog. He was funny. He and his friends' antics made me laugh. I signed his guestbook and told him I thought he was cool or something. I found out he was like 15 or i don't know what, so I backed the hell off. But we kept a little communication going for a while, pms and emails and the like. He was a good kid. I wonder what happened to him.

Robbie, if you're finally out of Chico, I hope you're doing well. (Ok, even if you're not out of there yet, I hope it's going as well as can be expected...) Drop me a line sometime.

2004-01-03T17:28:00.000-05:00

Today's weather:
Sunny and 72 degrees.

IT'S JANUARY 3RD.

I love living in the south.

It was so nice out, I went out to my patio and started an oil painting. I think it's not supposed to rain until Monday, which means the paints will have a couple days to dry before I bring them in.

I forgot how much I loved oils because for the past month I've been working in acrylics. Completely different animal. Acrylics act just like the plastic they are. There's no softness. It's all about definition and drawing and detail. Oils are much more forgiving. You don't even have to try hard to make something that looks good. I spent maybe an hour on my underpainting today, and I already like it better than the acrylic I've spent the last month (more) on. (more-on.)

2004-01-03T11:36:00.000-05:00

Today's going to be an interesting day for crowd watching. There's a game uptown tonight vs the Cowboys. Last home game of the season. (Listen to me, like I know shit about football.) The game isn't until 8 pm but at 8:30 this morning there were already people starting to camp out in the parking lots.

I'm trying to think if I have anywhere to go to avoid the madness, but I really can't think of anything.
Uptown Charlotte is always...er...interesting under extreme crowds of people. Especially drunk ones. See "New Years Eve" and "Halloween".

Actually, NYE was a little sedate this year. It wasn't Times Square or anything, but the crowds were massive. Every bar was packed. At midnight Doris and I stood in the midst of this pack of Hispanic people, including one girl with a giant bag of confetti, and several noisemakers, and the hats and the whole nine. Confetti girl passed out handfuls to everyone, and then laughed at me when I told Doris "Ack! I think I just ate some!" There is still confetti in my foyer. I think it was stuck to my coat or inside my blouse, and when I took those off, there it went.

Doris says Connolly's is usually a very cool Irish pub and we'll have to go there one night when it isn't packed to the Gills. (Get it? Irish Pub packed to the Gills? Ok, Doris didn't make the "Gills" joke, I did, but I thought it was clever.)

On the way home a waitron from the Capital Grille gave Doris and me a bunch of black, white and silver balloons that must have been a table centerpiece because it had one of those sandbags tied at the bottom to weight it. If you ever want to attract a crowd of drunken strangers, carry a wad of balloons down the street in the midst of the drunken revelrie on New Years Eve. We made lots of new "friends".

2003-12-30T23:58:00.000-05:00

So I finally wrapped the last of the Christmas presents today. I'm glad it's only December 30th.

Actually, I will have one more to wrap when I finally finish Ross's painting. Maybe I should say if I finish it. It's getting more and more like that.

It's midnight, and there are two people walking down the street here in normally deserted Uptown Charlotte. As if this weren't weird enough, one of them just bent down to give the other one a piggy back ride. I had no idea the homeless were so friendly with one another.

Realistically, they are dressed too nicely to be homeless. I wonder where they're going this time of night. Sometimes I see people park over here by my building at night and then walk in the direction of 6th street. The odd part is there is nothing to walk TO on 6th Street. I have no idea where they're going.

The old firehouse across the street here is supposed to be haunted. That's what I read in this book I picked up last week anyway. In fact, most of the "haunted" places in this book are around here in Fourth Ward. So now I keep an eye out my window on that firehouse, and I really hope I see something. I'd love to have an actual reason to believe in the supernatural.

When I first moved in here, for about the first week, all the dreams I had were about ghosts. In one particularly vivid dream, they were trying to tell me things about who they were and showing me old photographs, but they had no good way to communicate. Some were trying to use music and others were trying to use tapping sounds in almost a morse code fashion. I got some things out of it, but I woke up feeling sad that I couldn't communicate with them better.

This building was built on the site of one of the largest cotton mills in the old south.

2003-12-29T22:58:00.000-05:00

Mmm...jellyfish template.

"Yeah, I caught the Jellyfish Template show the other night at the Venue. It was pretty rockin'."