Rear Window

I hate my neighbors. This is no secret to most people.

Not all of them, mind you, just the ones who live downstairs. The Man and the Woman. The ones that, even though they live below me, I can hear them walking around. The chronic door-slammers. The gas-wasting Man who consistently starts one of his vehicles and lets it run for 10 or more minutes before he drives it anywhere. The Man who doesn't own a single quiet vehicle (one is a "larger than anyone should ever need" diesel pickup truck, and the other, a motorfriggingcycle.) It's especially troublesome in the warm months when I have the windows open, and it's 8:30 am on a Saturday morning, we're sleeping, and our bedroom fills with exhaust as the motorfriggingcycle runs and runs. LOUD, it's so loud. And speaking of open windows, did I mention that the Woman likes to smoke on her deck? And remember, she lives below us! Mmm, I love when my whole house smells like smoke instead of fresh air! In the winter, the Woman smokes in the bathroom. How do I know? We can smell it in OUR bathroom. Through the pipes? Through the floor? I have no idea, but it's gross.

They have an Annoying Dog. A big dog, some kind of chocolate lab or rottweiler mix or something. Now, I like dogs. But they like to leave the Dog on the deck in the warm months, so dogs being dogs, it barks at ev.er.y.thing. People. Cars. Birds. The wind. Woof woof woof! When the condo association put out a memo saying that the "decks are not to be used as dog runs" they started keeping him inside. But they leave the window in the dining room open. The Dog is tall enough to see out the window... Woof woof woof!

Also, the Man and the Woman, they like to fuck. Loudly. And fight. Equally loudly. And then fuck again. At first, admittedly, it was amusing. I'm not saying we pressed our ears to the walls and giggled or anything, but...Okay, so we did. But a year later, it's not so funny anymore.

Lately they've been fighting a lot more. Since we stopped listening, I MEAN, from what I can hear, it's been a lot of angry words and door slamming. And less fucking, from what I can tell.

So last week, I noticed that I hadn't seen the Woman in a few days. The Man came and went as normal. (Did I mention he keeps weird hours? He does.) One night, he parked his truck out in front of the building, (and let it run of course) and banged around in his apartment for about 15 minutes. I thought maybe he was moving an appliance in or out or something. But then, I didn't see anything in the back of the truck as he left... Still no sign of the Woman. Then her car was gone the next day. It's been a little more than a week since I've seen her, and almost a week that her car has been gone...

So my new theory is that the Man killed the Woman, disposed of the body, and then got rid of her car somewhere.

What?! It could happen.